Awareness

When it’s Time to say “F*ck This”

October 9, 2016April 9, 2020 EV3 Comments

One of my favorite meditation videos is called “F*ck That: An Honest Meditation”. There is so much truth in this little gem of a film. Being that it is Domestic Violence Awareness Month, I have to reflect on the many times, I might have been better off just saying “F*ck This”!

In hindsight, I choose to say these two words as a form of continually empowering myself to be the spiritually strong, badass, warrior-queen that I am today.

He’s at my work all through my shift drinking coffee and letting my male customers know that I am his girlfriend. – F*ck This.
He warns me of organizations I might be remotely interested in, being too authoritative, lax, weird or maybe even cultish – F*ck This.
He associates a comment I have made to a good looking guy who just walked into the room – F*ck This.
He gives his ex-wife my phone number without asking or informing me about it, then proceeds to have a heated argument with her for 2 hours – on my phone! F*ck This.
His ex-wife is included in our holiday gatherings…including Mother’s Day. F*ck This.
He continues to struggle with decisiveness over me vs. another woman. Sometimes said other woman is his ex-wife. F*ck This.
He “jokingly” hits me in the face with the basketball. – F*ck This.
He is not interested in my successes or knowledge, rather compares me to other successful women. – F*ck This.
He is threatened by the kids and all the money I spend on them …after we go school shopping. – F*ck This.
He is threatened by a cookie when I express that it is “better than sex”. F*ck This.
Every time I gain a new friend, he accuses me of having an affair with her husband or he starts flirting with my friend, – F*ck This.
After 10 years together, he still shows up at my office with no notice and just walks down the hall without checking in with reception. F*ck This.
When the boys get older, he keeps throwing them out of the house because “they are trying to tear our marriage apart” – F*ck This.

Okay, I finally said “F*ck This.” But before I really commit to it:

He convinces me to give him another try, even takes me out dress shopping so we can renew our vows. We then announce it to the kids. Two days later, I am served with divorce papers.

So the nicest thing he ever did for me and my children was to say “F*ck This.” Because, the truth is, I was no gem of a wife. Regardless, I DID NOT DESERVE TO BE ABUSED – NOBODY DESERVES IT.

Nobody deserves to be gaslighted and have their minds f*cked with constantly. He wasn’t even cute. Well maybe sometimes. And sex was great whenever he was afraid of losing me.

I cringe at all the times he told me that he owned my p*ssy. Wait, what? Shouldn’t I have left then? Probably. But I didn’t. Furthermore, I no longer should on myself. And neither “should” you.

Time to move forward, or build your new foundation. Just don’t look back. You are better than that. The next time you find yourself thinking of what you coulda, woulda, shoulda, just say “F*ck This.”

Stay Blissful My Friends! – E

When the Past Stops by to Say Hello

July 31, 2016April 8, 2017 EVLeave a comment

Photo by Satyam Ehinger – Konalani Shambhava Yoga

We are having our first group check-in. Abhaya and Satyam explained to us that usually around this time in the training, past emotional events might come up. They asked us each to share if this had happened. I shared my gratitude to Alexa for covering me during clean up because I was having “medication” issues and went straight to bed at 5PM, missing dinner and my chores. There was not much brought up at this check in.

However, the next day as a few of us were sitting around during one of our breaks, I came clean with a memory that popped up in my head as I was falling asleep the night before. Everyone at the Ashram knows I have a history of domestic violence and I felt that I was in a safe place to share this:

I was about 3 or 4 and had my first “boyfriend”. I believe his name might have been Joey and he was either my age or a few years older. We played behind the big couch in my living room and peck-kissed each other.

One night, he slept over and we both woke up very early. I remember the filtered light through the curtains and the stuffy smell of a home with closed windows and lots of bodies living within its walls. The house was still, as everyone was asleep. We went down to the kitchen and Joey turned on the stove. He placed a butter knife over the flame and then on my arm. “Does this hurt?” he asked. I shook my head “no”. He then placed the knife on the flame longer, then back onto my arm. I screamed so loud, I woke up the whole house, possibly the whole neighborhood.

burners_by_katastrophey — Source: DeviantArt.com Photo by Kara Pritchard

I have no idea what my dad did about it and would always be afraid to ask. I do know the boy was never a house guest again. I still have the scar on my arm to remind me of this event.

Back then, in the 70’s, parents would have smacked that kid into the next week, not realizing how much help he probably needed. Are we able to see this behavior in children at such a young age now? I truly hope so. I have no resentments toward that young man. I pray he received the help he obviously was in desperate need of.

In addition, I wondered if this might have set the wheels in motion for my ability to find myself in abusive relationships throughout the earlier part of my life. Might this have set the precedent for how I expected to be treated? I have no idea, I am not a psychologist. Just pondering the idea.

What a gift, to have people in which, I could share this very personal information. Nobody could actually relate or have any answers to my questions. Yet my classmates gave me exactly what I needed – compassion.

Sometimes, all we need is an ear to hear our story, not necessarily to be fixed by some bumper sticker quote. Don’t get me wrong. I love bumper stickers! Yet there are occasions that silent eye contact and possibly a hug is all that is necessary.

If we want to take it further for our friend, we can always pray, chant, and send good energy.

Stay Blissful My Friends – E

Wildlike – A Review & Observation on Empathy

April 28, 2016September 14, 2018 EV1 Comment

As Sexual Assault Awareness month winds down, my husband and I attended a viewing of Wildlike at The Lyric Cinema Theater, a local film spot in Old Town Fort Collins.

We weren’t sure what to expect but of course, my hubby is always interested in a movie filmed in the wilderness. There was no letdown in this area. The movie provided a grand visual experience of the picturesque expanse of Alaska. Denali is now on my bucket list!

The plot itself is quite heavy as it deals with sexual abuse. Yet it did so without being sleazy and all the while, being so very real. The eventual friendship developed by the two main characters is inspirational, without being sappy.

Most of the story is told in the silence. Indeed, it is a quiet movie, yet quite engaging. I don’t think there was a dry eye in the theater during the final scene between the two main characters.

Bruce Greenwood was superb in his portrayal of Rene, a man conflicted over his ability to help this young girl and yet not exactly knowing what she is running from. His greatest scenes don’t involve much dialogue. You can see it clearly in his eyes and expressions, especially as he finds solid evidence of that which he already knew was true. I am not sure this could have been pulled off by anyone else.

Using the concept “The good, the bad and the ugly”, to give an account of my experience, I have switched it up so as to finish with the good. Because that’s just how I roll.

The Bad

After young Mackenzie’s father dies, her mother has developed a drug problem and is checking into a treatment center. Mackenzie is then sent to Alaska to stay with her uncle, whom she barely knows.

Mackenzie is obviously a troubled young woman. This is an important observation one must understand. Most victims of sexual abuse are troubled youth, who are generally not believed when they speak up or are convinced that they are the ones at fault. It is easy for a predator to manipulate young people such as these.

Mackenzie’s perpetrator is her uncle. Another important observation. The majority of sexual abuse is perpetrated by a family member who lives in the home of their victim.

In regard to the two above observations, Mackenzie’s uncle does indeed manipulate her. First by purchasing her a mobile phone and being the “cool” uncle. After the abuse, he then tries to “assure” Mackenzie that he is trying to protect her from the damages caused by “her” actions.

After Mackenzie runs away, she becomes adamant that the police not be involved. She is of course, convinced that they will not believe her – though she never says so, it is well communicated in her firm stance when Rene suggests calling the cops.

The Ugly

Again, the film avoids being too graphic, however, the scenes in which Mackenzie’s uncle enters her bed are quite disturbing. As they should be. Sexual abuse is ugly. If you don’t catch some uncomfortable feels at this point, you might not be alive. These very few (thank God) scenes create a strong awareness.

In one of the scenes, Mackenzie tries to offer sex to Rene. This attempt, of course, is made in silence. Rene is appalled and communicates this – not so silently. The reality of this scene is many victim/survivors of sexual abuse will offer themselves up as a way of getting what they want or thanking someone for help. It is another ugly truth. Fortunately, for Mackenzie, she has found a decent friend in Rene.

The Good

I recently took a free Trauma Informed training given by Matt Bennett, Chief Innovation Officer at Coldspring Center. Having seen this movie two days before the training, I was identifying much of Matt’s talk with some of the film’s characters.

For myself, the most intriguing part of this lecture was when Matt spoke of “passive trauma experienced due to lack of support, empathy, and compassion that the person receives from society.”[1] The character Rene, fortunately, was one who, though unwillingly at first, stepped up and supported a young lady in dire need of help.

In contrast to an ugly world which includes sexual assault, the magnificent vistas of Alaska spoke “quietly” and powerfully of this world’s greater beauty. Rene and Mackenzie’s unspoken words spoke loudly of the beauty of the true connection we humans have in the way we offer up empathy toward one another.

Sometimes, there is no need to vocalize empathy and love. When a fellow human is in need of help, just being there and listening to the spoken and unspoken words are paramount in helping that person get through their traumatic experience.

There is much more to this, but I don’t want to ruin the whole story. You should just go see it…and Stay Blissful my friends – E

sexual-assault-awareness-month-april-2

If you liked this, check out: https://livingelysian.com/2016/11/06/let-go-keep-going-or-start-over/

http://coldspringcenter.org/mattsmumblings.html

What To Do When a Friend is Sexually Assaulted

April 21, 2016September 14, 2018 EV1 Comment

You just received a call that is difficult to process. Your good friend has been sexually assaulted. What do you do? What do you say?

Well first of all, just listen – without any judgment. Your friend is understandably distressed emotionally. He/She will most likely waver between shame, guilt and self-blame through anger and frustration at the perpetrator who has just inflicted a great violation.

Let your friend know that all these emotions are valid and normal considering the circumstances.

What your friend does NOT need to hear is any comments or questions about what he/she was wearing, drinking or doing at the time of the attack.

Has your friend gone to the ER or contacted the police? If not, this would be a good time to offer to take him or her. But be careful not to insist. Your friend has just experienced a major and personal ordeal. Not all victims are ready to face this.

Offer to visit your friend and provide comfort, reinforcing the message that it is not her/his fault. Might you be able to be on call anytime your friend needs to talk? If so, then say so. In addition, share with your friend that there are many resources to help.

Whether it is a hotline, professional help, etc., let her/him know you are available to assist in finding numbers and addresses.

When helping your friend starts to weigh you down:

“Secondary traumatic stress (STS) is the emotional duress that results when an individual hears about the firsthand trauma experiences of another. Its symptoms mimic those of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Accordingly, individuals affected by secondary stress may find themselves re-experiencing personal trauma or notice an increase in arousal and avoidance reactions related to the indirect trauma exposure. They may also experience changes in memory and perception; alterations in their sense of self-efficacy; a depletion of personal resources; and disruption in their perceptions of safety, trust, and independence.” [1]

Symptoms of STS include the following:

Hypervigilance
Hopelessness
Guilt
Avoidance
Social withdrawal
Anger/Cynicism
Sleep issues
Illness and physical ailments
Fear
Chronic exhaustion
Disconnection
Lack of boundaries
Loss of creativity
Inability to listen or focus
Lack of self-care

Who is at risk for STS?

Mainly professionals who work directly with traumatized victims (especially children). Risk does seem to be greater among women and individuals who have high empathetic natures. In addition, those who have unresolved personal traumas and are helping others with their suffering.

I have been in training to become a Victim’s Advocate for Alternatives to Violence and we had a specific night devoted to the discussion of STS and what to do when and if we begin to experience it. Self-Care is continually discussed throughout every training we took and understandably so.

Self-care can be something you might suggest to your friend, but it is highly recommended that you practice it as well when helping a friend who has suffered the ordeal of Sexual Assault. Some suggestions were:

Coloring- we did a whole lot of coloring as we learned about domestic violence, sexual assault, child abuse, and human trafficking.
Talking to someone when we need to.
Bubble baths
Bike rides
Aromatherapy
Setting boundaries
Reading inspirational books
Walking in nature
Going to the salon
Eating right
Mindfulness
Fitness programs
Yoga
Meditation

So if you find yourself being called on by a friend in desperate need, do all you can to be there for him/her. But remember to take care of yourself, lest you find yourself harming the two of you due to self-neglect.

April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month and the theme for 2016 is “Prevention”. Click here for more information.

http://www.nctsn.org/resources/topics/secondary-traumatic-stress

Sexual Assault Awareness Month – Day 7

April 8, 2016April 8, 2016 EVLeave a comment

SAVA-PA-EVALDIVIA8

Sexual Assault is real, there is much I can write about it but I came across some videos that speak closely to our hearts and minds. Namaste.

Thank you, Lady Gaga, for this beautiful song:

Men are crucial in the prevention of Sexual Assault. If you are a man, don’t just be a bystander, step up and say something.

Stop Blaming the Victim (Survivor)

And for all, Women and Men I strongly suggest you read “The Gift of Fear” by Gavin de Becker. Below, he discusses a portion of his book with Oprah Winfrey:

Sexual Assault Awareness Month

March 31, 2016April 2, 2016 EVLeave a comment

So, first things first. Some exciting news: I have begun my training with Alternatives to Violence to become a Victim’s Advocate!

The training is intense, four hours each night after I get off from work. But it goes by rather quickly, as we are a very involved group.

Last night, we were given a training by the SAVA (Sexual Assault Victims Advocate) Center based in Fort Collins, Co. SAVA is an excellent community organization and they have many events planned for the month of April. You can find out more about SAVA and Sexual Assault by clicking here.

One of their most intriguing upcoming events is the Faces Project:

So many of us are lead to believe that we deserved to be assaulted.

Because of the way we dress, being out when we shouldn’t have been.

Some of us were too naive.

Either way. If you are sexually assaulted, it is not your fault.

I repeat, IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT.

At our training, we discussed facts vs. myths and there were some surprise facts and some not so surprise facts…I cannot put this in better words, so here are a few:

MYTH: Sexual assault is provoked by the victim. Victims ask for it by their actions, behaviors, or by their dress.
FACT: Studies indicate that the majority of sexual assaults are at least partially planned in advance. Sexual assault is not a spontaneous crime of sexual passion. It is a violent attack on an individual using sex as a weapon to defile, degrade, and destroy a victim’s will and control over her or his body. For the victim, it is a humiliating, traumatizing situation.

MYTH: Only certain kinds of women get sexually assaulted. Only “bad girls” get sexually assaulted.
FACT: Rapists choose their victims without regard to physical appearance. Victims are of every type, age, race, moral persuasion, and socioeconomic class. Ages of reported victims range from 6 months to 93 years old.

MYTH: Sexual assault is a minor crime affecting only a few women. Its significance is exaggerated.
FACT: Current reports indicate that, nationally, 1 in 4 women and 1 in 6 men will be sexually assaulted at some point in their lives. However, less than 40% of sexual assaults are reported to the police. 125,910 sexual assaults were reported in 2009.

MYTH: Rape and sexual assault only occurs in large cities.
FACT: Sexual assault happens everywhere–in cities, suburbs, and rural areas. Unfortunately, small communities are less likely to have the range of services available than in urban settings.

MYTH: Women frequently cry “rape” (i.e., there is a high rate of false reporting).
FACT: False reports make up only 2-8% of sexual assault reports, equal to or less than any other major crime. While some victims later recant, it’s important to remember that there are lots of reasons why victims of sexual assault never even report the crime or may be influenced to rescind initial accounts.

MYTH: Most sexual abuse of boys is perpetrated by gay men.
FACT: Sexual offenders come from all educational, occupational and cultural backgrounds. They are “ordinary” and “normal” individuals who sexually assault victims to assert power and control over them.[1]

Awareness

So, how can we be better informed? Awareness. Get the facts, follow your due diligence and not assumptions.

If you are a movie lover, here is a clip from a film that touches on Sexual Assault:

Sexual Assault is a serious issue cross-culturally. Please remember the women, children and yes, even men survivors of sexual assault in your daily prayers and meditations.

Whatever you do, please do not judge. We are all fighting our own battles. This month, we focus on those who have been sexually victimized.

Much love and peace to you today my dear friends. – E

http://savacenter.org/about/sexual-assault-101/

Domestic Violence/I Know

January 14, 2016January 14, 2016 EVLeave a comment

I know-PA-EVALDIVIA8

I found this worn out tattered paper with a poem I had written many years ago. It was during a particularly difficult time in my life. I was sitting with a group of women who were staying at a domestic violence safe house. Their stories were heartbreaking and powerful. I felt a great bond with each woman there. We lifted each other up and decided to write.

Back then, I had a strong desire to give back, or pay it forward to women who have experienced domestic abuse. Two of my kids were still under 18 and I spent the next few years raising them. I am now an empty nester.

Not believing in coincidences…I was recently contacted by Alternatives to Violence, a local organization in Northern Colorado. The director asked if they could use my poem on their website or Facebook page. Of course, I said, “Yes”. Further into our discussion, I expressed the desire to volunteer for ATV. She welcomed this and I submitted my application yesterday.

DV is something I have known my whole life. Thinking about this a lot the past few days. I penned another poem:

I knew a woman for a little while.

She had the most beautiful smile.

Her smile could almost distract you from her blackened eye.

I just could not understand why.

Who would want to hurt such a beautiful creature?

Is this what marriage is, would this be my future?

Everyone is so quick to judge,

Without knowing why a woman does what she does.

No one gave her a hand up or kind offer.

Instead, they chose to gossip about her.

I can still hear those unkind voices.

Whispering ugly tales about her poor choices.

Surely this last beating was her fault.

Of course, she deserved this recent assault.

But I saw her kindness and admired her strength.

To help a friend, she would go any length.

Though I only knew her for a little while.

She taught me rather well how to smile.

I look forward to continuing in my journey of lovingly encouraging all in their quest for inner peace while endeavoring to supportively empower spiritual living. I hope to pass on to others, that which was passed on to me by some pretty incredible women.

If you or someone you know are in an abusive relationship, there are wonderful resources out there to help you get out. Just reach out your hand and ask for help.

Stay Blissful My Friends – E

domestic-violence1450724267

Sunday Shot of Bliss VIII. The Spiritual Meal

August 9, 2015 EVLeave a comment

Like so many others, I enjoy food. Summertime offerings of sweet corn and watermelon with some pulled barbecue chicken. Fall and winter apple pies freshly removed from the oven, bubbling over with their loving sweetness. Oh I enjoy sugar far more than most people should. Sugar is “My Precious”, as I lovingly look at its goodness like Gollum looks upon “The Ring”.

One of the main reasons for this love is that during the four years I lived with Gastroparesis, my main source of calories was sugar. Not being able to eat much solid food, I just added a lot of cream and sugar to my drinks. When I could eat, the easiest food to digest were highly processed and had a great deal of sugar added. So yeah, this has become an unhealthy habit. A habit for which has now brought on constant sluggishness, heartburn and generally icky feeling. Time for a change!

So for the past 3 weeks, I have been on an elimination diet. No sugar, complex carbs or dairy. I have to admit, I am using the Creative Bioscience 1234 Diet Drops to help curb the sugar cravings. This stuff works very well. I am not only feeling better but even use less makeup than ever as my skin looks pretty good. Oh and I also have lost 7 pounds, so there’s that.

Wanting to move more toward clean eating I thought this would be a good start and so far, so good. Having to get used to Stevia was a bit of a pain but I’m okay with it now. I also don’t follow the diet to the “T”. Having much experience with past dieting, I do not strive for perfection. The downfall is too heartbreaking.

What are the purposes of eating anyway?

Nourishment for our bodies – Well yeah, or we will die.
Pleasure – Of course!
Communion with others.
Communion with God – Did you know that?

“I love to live in Your house, oh Lord. I love to be here at Your feet.

And let Your words be the food I eat, the food I eat.

I love to live in Your house, oh Lord. To dine at the table with my King.

And give You the praise I bring, the praise I bring” – Glen Veenstra

This lead me back to a book I once read, “Art of the Inner Meal – Eating as a Spiritual Path”, written by Donald Altman – a former Buddhist Monk. The book describes the many different cultural and religious meal rituals throughout the world. What I love of course, is the spiritual representation of food. There is a saying that you can tell a person’s spirituality by witnessing the food he/she eats. I think this is correct. So I am now ready to start my full spiritual path with food! Here are a few of Donald’s suggestions:

Spend time in Nature Daily

Try to sense the cycle of life in the trees, rocks and dirt. This will help us become conscious of the link between the food that we eat and the Earth from which it grows.

Awareness

Being conscious of what you like is not the same as knowing why you like it. This is really good stuff as it takes some work to pay attention rather than just shoveling food into your mouth.

As you prepare for your meal ask yourself if you are hungry because you are hungry or is it because you are bored, hurt, angry, nervous, happy, fearful or sad.
Almost all religions start their meal with cleansing (washing your hands) and prayer for the meal.
Next, think about or even write about what feelings or emotions this food gives to you. The texture, the flavor. Sweetness or spiciness.
Also pay attention to your surroundings. Does this place or situation connect you to food? Are you eating because of location or are you actually hungry?

Building up spiritual strength means letting yourself feel your desires, not repressing them.

Discover Your Spiritual Diet

Establishing a personal guideline for foods we think are wholesome and healthy for ourselves is essential. We don’t follow the exact spiritual path as our brothers and sisters so we cannot expect what works for them to work for us. Just as well, we must remove judgment of others’ eating habits from our own spirit. Judgment is not beneficial to our growth in any way, whatsoever. Now that that’s out of the way, let’s move on to progress!

Column 1 – Write down the foods you typically ate as a child or teenager, putting a plus or minus sign next to each food to indicate whether or not you liked it. Not if it was good for you. Be honest about your feelings in regard to food. We are uncovering, not censoring.
Column 2 – Write down your current regular food choices, also placing a plus or minus sign next to each food you like or do not like.
Column 3 – List the foods that your inner self believes to be ideal for you. What would be most nutritious? What would your ideal spiritual meal look like? Make this list rather large! Again, place a plus or minus sign next to the foods you like or dislike.
Compare these lists. What has changed over the years?
Remember, this list is unique to you. So if there are any foods you need to additionally remove from your diet, so be it. There are no right or wrong answers. Just truth.

With this, we can build our confidence in where we have come from, where we are and where we can go in improving our eating habits. We can also develop a deeper connection with God and with our fellows!

There is so much more to share from this book. It is available on Amazon if you are interested. For now, enjoy a lovely, blissful meal and consider these conceptions.

Stay Blissful My Friends – E

How We Weather the Storms

August 2, 2015 EV2 Comments

While at the airport in Kentucky last week, I was alerted to another flight delay. It was only about a half hour but I knew I wouldn’t make my shuttle. No problem, I was already on the phone organizing a lunch for a group of people in Colorado for the following day. So I called the shuttle service next and they put me on a later scheduled ride.

Almost two hours later, the plane had barely arrived. I was starting to get hungry and knew that this would make me cranky so I grabbed a quick salad. Came back to the gate, with salad in hand to see that a storm had just moved in. I sighed, sat down and waited to hear if we were leaving. Then I softly whispered the first part of the Serenity Prayer:

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change…

We did board, as the storm was passing rather quickly. While looking out at the raindrops on my window, I had an epiphany: Having daily contact with God isn’t a guarantee that we will not go through storms. Rather, we will face them with courage, dignity, grace and peace. Ah, how I love epiphanies!

So how do we weather the storms?

Well we first start out quietly in daily communication with our God. With all the spirituality around us, prayer sounds kind of cliché. Maybe it is. But it works. How it works? I am not an expert, I just know that it does. But Elysia, I don’t even believe in God. That’s okay! This is where that saying “Fake it, ’til you Make it.” comes in hand. See, you are faking it for yourself and not others. So it’s okay.

And really, when you take a good look at the concept of prayer, you might realize that God does NOT need us to pray to him. No, prayer is for our own benefit. The benefit of letting go of what is on our minds and in our hearts. To put it all into perspective. So if you are faking it, well God already knows and is okay with it. You can’t bullshit God, he understands what is going on deep within you.

And then someday, you will find that you are doing this prayer thing with all sincerity and you might not even know when it happened. You will experience this peace of mind and comfort of the heart.

“Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; 7 and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:6-7

Anxiety used to visit me daily. Now, it is such an uncommon occurrence in my life. So much that when it does happen, I have to quickly calm myself from the fear of fear. Ha! Not a bad place to be. I do know that God is no respecter of man, so if I can get over anxiety anyone can!

When we start a daily routine of conversing with God, we are building a strong foundation beneath us. This foundation WILL be rocked by storms. Sometimes, the weather will be calm. But through both circumstances, we stay calm and steadfast. We might feel that the foundation is about to give, but we know that it won’t. We might feel a bit shaky, but we remain still regardless.

My husband once remarked about my calmness during financial distress. Well, I don’t like it. But I know it will pass. I have had plenty and I have had few. Through it all, I was always provided for and could still experience joy.

I know great pain and suffering through my fight with Gastroparesis. But I know my God and I always knew the flare up would pass. The flare ups and then finally a good 18 month remission. And I believe that I am now cured of Gastroparesis.

Sometimes I worry about losing what I have – and I have so much maybe not material-wise but I have never been about material anyway. So, when I worry I just remember that I own NOTHING. All has been given by and given back to GOD! Whatever storms I will face, I will weather them – Joyfully, Blissfully!

Stay Blissful My Friends! – E

August 1, 2015 EVLeave a comment

In 2010 I was diagnosed withGastroparesis. After a few months of not being able to eat, feeling the fear and shaking my fist at God, I started to research how I could live with this condition.

I found many other women online who were more than happy to share with me how they were doing life. These women were some of the most courageous people I had ever encountered. With the many trips to the ER, feeding tubes, lack of a quality of life – they exemplified bravery and a strong faith in God. This I wanted for myself so I mirrored them and became them. I see myself as one of the bravest women I know today! – From 4 Things You Really Should Know About Emotions