One might consider me a bit close minded…My first marriage ended up in divorce.
My suggestion: PAY ATTENTION! If he wants to rush into a relationship, sex and even more concerning – marriage, I would caution you to Run.Away.Very.Fast. Or not. But maybe, you could slow things down a bit. Give yourself time to evaluate the circumstances. He might tell you that he can’t live another day without being fully committed to you. That he thinks of no one other than you. He has such passion and intensity in the way he looks at you and makes you feel. But in reality, he just doesn’t want you to have enough time to see what he is truly about. He wants you completely under his (short-lived) spell. Or not. But maybe, you should still slow things down a bit. This will not hurt. If it is bad idea, you will see within the first year (If you are paying attention). If it is a strong bond, it will be stronger.
No one wants to be unequally yoked and some of us do want to have a life partner. Take your time. Talk to God. Ask him what to do. Wait on the answer. When you have a good relationship with your Creator, you will know-in your very gut you will know. If you do not feel you are getting an answer, WAIT. Just wait. The answer will come to you. Not everything has to be done today. Not every emotional circumstance needs to be resolved today. Breathe, take time and enjoy where you are at this time. Right.Now.
Are there good men in the church? Of course! However, pay attention to your emotional and spiritual condition. In my case I was a young, single mother of two. I was newly Christian and raised under EXTREMELY dysfunctional circumstances. I had a lot to learn and was impressionable. I was perfect bait for a narcissist and I bit!
So if you have met Mr. Wonderful in church (or anywhere for that matter), this is a good time to take a self-inventory:
Do I feel comfortable in my own skin?
- Am I speaking my truth daily?
- Do I have a daily conversation with my Savior?
- Am I committed to the life I am living?
- Has there been enough time to heal from deep emotional wounds in my life?
While all this is going on, consider what you can offer to others. Can you be a sounding board/prayer partner to someone else? Can you donate some time to your community or church? Get out of yourself. Most importantly, don’t take yourself so seriously. Get out and have fun!
“Wake up, wake up, Deborah! Wake up, wake up, break out in song!” – Judges 5:12