She-Shedding Emotional Excess

2019 has become the year of shedding excess for me. Remarkably so, this theme has been communicated to me through, prayer, meditation, yoga, and Netflix. All in January 2019. I hear you, God!

Therefore, I am sharing this part of my journey for the next few blog posts. I have outlined my she-shedding as follows:

  1. Emotional
    1. “Responsibilities” to Family & Friends
    2. Circle of “Friends”
    3. Fear
  2. Physical
    1. Hair
    2. Weight
    3. Clothes
    4. SHOES!!
    5. Home
    6. Yoga Practice
  3. Career
    1. Number of Clients
    2. Amount of “Busy Work”
  4. Spiritual
    1. Empathetic Attacks
    2. Sex
    3. The Overwhelming amount of “Inspirational” Facebook Groups

For today’s blog, let’s focus on shedding emotional excess:

“Your emotions are the slaves to your thoughts, and you are the slave to your emotions.”
― Elizabeth Gilbert

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The summer of 2018 was not an easy one for me. I was selling my home and moving from Colorado. It was time. I had planned to move to Hawaii but took a detour to West Texas. I found a love for this little town and its community. Things run slower and it is much quieter than Loveland, Colorado.

Unfortunately, some of my friends and family felt I was abandoning them. This pulled on my “responsible” apron strings. And shit got ugly. I can’t remember feeling so guilty about “doing me”…well ever. People said I was chasing after my new love. Not true. He and I decided to hang in West Texas for a couple of months, while I decided what I wanted to do. Since we both travel, we decided to make our RV in West Texas our landing spot.

The gift of this relationship: No unrealistic expectations or responsibilities. However, my guilty feelings over the summer flowed into our vibe from time to time. On one such day, at a carnival, I could not bring myself to smile. If you know me, I smile a lot sooo…

It was time to set my friends and family free to make their own decisions. Time for them too experience their own journeys. Regardless, of my desire to “fix” everyone else’s problems. I need to do the things I have feared my whole life.

Thus, I let them go. Of course, I let them go with a blessing and not a curse. Regardless, I did experience frustration and shake my fist at times. I am human after all. This began my process of shedding emotional excess.


But Elysia, How do I Shed Emotional Excess?

I’m so glad you asked! As have always been instructed by my advisors: First thing you do is pray. But faith without works is dead. Therefore, action must follow…

  • Service Work to Others – Just because my life seems like shit, doesn’t mean that others who have it better than me. Absolutely not! Being present and offering an ear to someone else surely gets me out of my own BS.
  • Staying True to Commitments – Life continues no matter what. Suit up and show up, even if it is just to shut up…
  • Focus – When we are emotional, we can certainly be effective. We have emotional energy. Use it!

And personally, most importantly:

There are no victims, only volunteers

I took a 2-month trip to South America to be alone for a while and reflect. Speaking with my boyfriend on the phone, I recognized that I didn’t handle the summer of 2018 so well. But now I was getting a do-over – celebrating Summer Solstice the second time. I was not going to let history repeat itself twice in one year!

Suddenly, I observed how I had re-developed the victim role. WITAF?!!
I had been playing victim during the whole summer in the states! What an effin’ waste of time! Precious time, I might add.

Just to be clear, there are benefits of being a victim – people feel sorry for me, the person who upset me might send gifts…etc.

Therefore, I took some time to identify the pros and cons of being a victim. Not surprisingly, the cons outweighed the pros. How could I be the warrior queen I say I am and be a victim at the same time? I cannot.

Consequently, I stopped letting people talk to me a certain way. This is not easy. Indeed, it takes courage. But we do teach others how to treat us. Stepping up and standing up for myself is essential.

None of this is new. I have known this for a long time. I guess revisiting this lesson was in order. Just to make sure that being a victim still does not serve me, I’m sure.


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While in Punta Hermosa, Lima, Peru, I rediscovered my courage to face the power of the waves. I have always had a love for swimming in the ocean. But I also have a reverent fear of its strength. I wanted to swim further. Swimming into the waves, I ate shit a few times. Then enjoyed the glory of floating far from the shore… That moment, that day I shed some excess – fear.

Do you “feel” the need to shed excess emotional excess? If so, comment below. And stay blissful my friends.

Short Hair & Other Resolutions

We could all use a little change – Smashmouth

My hair is short today. At the beginning of the year, I had long extensions. They were removed in the Spring. My hair was then just past shoulder length. Not a bad length. But then I got obsessive about my gray hairs and decided to have it colored, then highlighted.

Between all the chemicals and heat styling, my hair started dying. Rapidly. So it had to be cut down. Oh, it will grow again. Maybe.

Oh, and the weight gain…caused another back injury. Just as I arrived in Ecuador. Most of my food goes bad because I buy too much anyway. But I continue to wake up in the middle of the night to sneak Oreos from the pantry. Why are there Oreos in my pantry?!!!

Laundry day has become an all-day event, prompting me to buy more clothes?! Am I the only one?

girl-2705518_640Outward Representations

They say the outward is a direct representation of the inward. This year has proven that statement to be quite fair. I have taken a long inventory of the excess in my life as of late. My physical being told a great story.

Weight (This one Really Hurts)

I had a back injury in 2016. In addition to treatment, I was put on a Ketogenic diet to lose 30 lbs. This was a complete success throughout late 2016 and all of 2017. I felt better than I had in years!

But then, I thought I could have a cookie in 2018…Mind you, I had just begun a new relationship with a wonderful man and lost my soulmate (my dog, Chewy). So much emotion – and this will be another topic in the Shedding the Excess Process.

Because emotion plays right into eating habits for me, by the end of  2018 I had gained 15 of those pounds back. Now that doesn’t seem like much but let me tell you, I injured my back again. Additionally, heartburn and burning mouth syndrome have returned.

The solution to this: Find another healthy eating program. One in which I can afford. I decided upon HIITBURN after completing their questionnaire. For $97.00, I get a personal coach. This is extremely helpful since I travel a lot and cannot go into a clinic for weigh-ins.

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Home

My house in Colorado was difficult to give up. So many memories. My son wanted to buy it to raise my granddaughters in the home they knew so well. Unfortunately, he could not come up with the money in time and my ex-husband was wanting his money.

This proved to be a blessing in disguise. The house did hold many moments in time. And it was time to let those moments go. Just as I had said goodbye to Chewy, I needed to say goodbye to the home I raised him within.

Again, this was an emotional process. I had already minimized so much and moved into an RV. But there was more.

How many of us hold on to a cluttered home because we just cannot let go of the dead energy that we know so well. There is safety in the familiar. I had learned this when I got sober. I had learned this when I got divorced.

I realized that I did not want the responsibility of a mortgage. I didn’t even want the responsibility of digging in roots anymore. It’s time to travel the world. It’s my time. And, it’s time to own it.

House sold.

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SHOES!!

Okay, I have a love-hate relationship with shoes. But especially boots. I have been stalked by shoes and boots on Facebook. But alas, I have no room for all the shoes that I once owned. Furthermore, I don’t need all of them!

Clothes

When I am in my new landing spot in West Texas, I dread laundry day. Packing for my long-term trips around the world is a nightmare.

I had a flannel shirt for 15 years. It served me well until the holes could no longer be mended. After which, trying to find that perfect flannel again took another 15 years. I remember a conversation with my favorite pair of white pants when I was 16. “Okay, I am giving you one more chance to make it right. I’m going to wash you with bleach and if you are still pink when you come out, it’s off to the Segunda for you!”. They came out white again…

I downsized my wardrobe twice in 2018 and have concluded that I need to do this again. But clothing also has an emotional connection. This item was a gift, this other item was something I wore on a special day. How can I hold on to these memories while letting go of the piece of clothing that means so much to me?

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Yoga Practice

How can one practice Yoga too much? When it starts to lean more on either aspect – the physical/spiritual. Yoga burn-out is real. It happens. It was happening to me. Just after a great year of taking two additional Yoga Teacher Trainings.

It was time to change it up. I had no choice but to do so when I injured my back. Taking a look at the many different practices:

  • Hatha
  • Iyengar
  • Restorative
  • Yin
  • Kundalini

I landed back on Kundalini because, though it can be physical, it is also less stressful on the back for some reason. I found a lovely 40-day Kundalini for weight loss program. What I started to see as a continual topic through this program was “Shedding the Excess”.


This is just a small piece of the pie. (oh, I want pie).  There’s much more excess to cut:


People are flocking to the Minimalist Movement. But do they really know why it is so appealing? Do they understand the philosophy behind this movement? Or is this just another pop-cultural thing to do? Another “Shiny Object” to play with for a while?

For me, it has become a new prana. The only way to truly breathe now. And I realized this when I looked in the mirror and saw that my hair is short today.

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Things People are Asking

…What they are asking me – the woman who is traveling alone. Their Questions and my answers.

I’m in my second year post-divorce. What have I learned? So much, I have to gather my thoughts quite often.

I have learned that I enjoy traveling. I love to travel with the boyfriend. I love to travel alone. Presently, I am in the midst of a 2 1/2 month solo visit to South America.


Unusual Lifestyle?

I am also learning how this new lifestyle scares the hell out of some people. Or at least confuses the hell out of them. It’s become a fun little game of question and answer… or unsolicited statement and unsolicited reply.

  1. Next time you should experience this with someone you love.
    1. I am experiencing this with someone I love – Me.
  2. Who is driving you around?
    1. The bus driver.
  3. Be careful!!
    1. Of course.
  4. Aren’t you lonely?
    1. Sometimes. But everyone should experience loneliness from time to time. It helps one appreciate the presence of others.
  5. Do you need help with that?
    1. I sure do. Thank you!
  6. Do you miss home?
    1. I am home.

So, I don’t mind the questions or comments. Like everything else in my life, I just have fun with them!

 

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Ultimately, I am having a fine time. Meeting new friends. Staying in and binge-watching shows without being judged. Walking through city squares at night, people watching. Lots of Café con Leche!

Ecuador has become my new favorite place. Olon, in particular. But Lima, Peru has its charm as well.

 

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Staying Connected

My daughter and I have a scheduled weekly chat to check in about our lives and new adventures. And there’s the occasional text to and from my sons. My oldest will be joining me in Peru to celebrate Christmas. I miss my kids. Yet, I am so happy that they are all living their truth. Experiencing their personal journeys.

I really miss my granddaughters deeply. Thankfully, they are in good hands. My son and his wife are an excellent team as parents.

I really really miss the boyfriend. Fortunately, we have this understanding: We welcome these pauses in our relationship. No, It’s not an open relationship. We just are okay being apart and being alone at times.


Plans and Lessons

There were many plans made for this trek through South America. Unfortunately, it didn’t all work out according to said plans. But it never does. The back is injured again, interrupting surfing lessons. And I was doing so well! So I guess I will try again next year. 2019 is on its way, regardless of whether I give it permission to do so.

Then there’s the “shedding the excess” lessons. This need is surely what this trip is uncovering. And I have learned, more importantly, to ask myself some questions:

  1. Are you being you – living your truth?
  2. Are you living according to your values?
  3. Have you reviewed your values lately?
  4. Can you be happy regardless of any circumstance?
  5. Are you sincerely ready to let go of the past?

These questions are being answered along this journey through South America. I guess discovery is what adventure is all about, right? Stay Blissful My Friends. – e

 

Back To Me

I feel like I’m doing my own version Eat, Pray Love. But more like Love, Pray, Starve…

Exactly one year ago, I was falling in love with a man I had only met twice in 2017. But we wrote to each other quite often. He inspired me to write with all the rawness in my soul. Almost exactly one year ago, he surprised me in Hawaii. He showed up for my Yoga Teacher graduation.

We fell fast and hard. He lived on the East Coast, I lived in Colorado. But we met up around the 8th of each month and then spent the summer and fall in Texas together. For the first time in my life, I let a man be really good to me.

IMG_20180425_162331_3I welcomed him in. That he would know me, and I would know him. More intimately than anyone else. I let him see the good, the bad, the vulnerable, and even the insecure at times.

The boyfriend and I are good to be together. We are good staying in an RV in a small West Texas town. We are good to be apart for days, weeks, and even months.

We’ve connected in a way, I had never known possible. No drama, no games, just true love.

When an incident would more commonly lead to packed bags and a long car drive out of town, I remained. We walked through these moments together. It wasn’t easy. But so worth it.


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But now, it’s time to get back to me…

I sound like a Fergie song. Blah! Have I been reduced to becoming a walking cliche of pop culture and inspirational quotes? And is anyone even reading this sh!t?

The medicine woman I met at the beginning of this trip has extended an invitation for a 3-week spiritual walk next year. There is much to consider, and I will first consult with my sponsor about some concerns I have before I can commit. Though, everything this lady shared with me seems to be a confirmation of sorts.

Untitled designAlone in Olon

Did I really have to fly all the way to South America to feel lonely? Why Yes. Yes, I did. As I said last week, this has been a year of excess in the States for me. Mostly good, but not all.

So now I am detoxing from smoking, sugar, and (gah!) sex. Even the private party sex. (Oh, don’t judge! If you’ve never done it, you’re a liar.)

 

Anyway, back to me…

This first week in Olon has got me all twisted. I eat, work and sleep. I sleep a lot because I want chocolate cake, a cigarette, and my man.


I Have Found My People

But on the 3rd day, it is beautiful out and I must hit the beach. I also meet a friend on the Facebook Expat group. While we were communicating back and forth, we find out that she and her family are staying upstairs from me.

46644878_2086531621382063_8490081000414511104_nI have found my people! We are open about everything. My new pal will not tell me where to buy smokes (even though I don’t ask).

But a few days later I figure it out. I tell my new friends that I now know. But I chose not to buy a pack. This smoking cessation thing is a lot harder than it was the last time I quit. But I have not given in. They cheer me on!

Did I mention, that my people also live in an RV back in Canada? We talk about renting the big house on this property next year together. And extending our stay to 6 months.

But back to me…


Contentment

It’s incredible, how Ecuador has taught me how much I don’t need. My closet does not floweth over. My refrigerator is almost empty. But I’m neither naked nor hungry.

I come from a world that is conditioned to live a certain lifestyle. Though many of us don’t realize that this lifestyle is a choice. I have been hustling for new business constantly instead of being content with the clients I have right now.

What if I stopped working so hard to find more business and just focus on giving better service to my clients? I sound like the “Jerry McGuire” of the Online Business Management world. But I think I’ve tapped into something.

I don’t need as much money as I make already. What if I just lived off what I need and save the rest for another day?

We don’t have to choose what everyone else is doing if we don’t want to. Look at your lifestyle. Is this what you really want? If so, good. Be happy. If not, seek what brings you joy and go after it.

While you are working on this, I will get back to me…

“Place yourself in the middle of the stream of power and wisdom which animates all whom it floats, and you are without effort impelled to truth, to right and a perfect contentment.”

― Ralph Waldo Emerson, Spiritual Laws

 

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The Throat Chakra – Be Real

The Throat Chakra is representative of creativity and communication. I have recently experienced a rebirthing of my originality and voice on the mat. Also, Living Elysian has just moved thru a rebranding process.

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When I decided to get certified as a Yoga instructor, I had many expectations of myself. I wanted to be one of those deep, spiritual teachers, full of wisdom. Practically imagining floating above the mat, ha! Always, believing in “To thine own self, be true.”, I have accepted my sailor’s language.

Anywhere else but the mat. My expectations brought me to the point that I would become frustrated seeking the right words. Consequently, I managed to hinder my throat chakra. I believed my true words do not belong on the yoga mat. Well, F*ck that! In addition, this followed me off the damn mat.

Accepting oneself goes everywhere with us. This includes our presence in our Yoga practice. Fortunately, my beautiful students appreciate the “Real” Elysia!

A blocked throat chakra can drastically impact our ability to communicate efficiently. Mainly due to the fear of scorn or judgment. This may demonstrate as an inability to voice and realize our truth. When this chakra is unlocked and balanced, we have the ability to express ourselves with clarity and honesty. Clear and honest in any situation with full confidence.

When I was practice teaching at the Ashram in Hawaii, I started off with a quote by Martin Luther King Jr. My instructor expressed that this was nice, however, he expects me to share my story. As I was writing a sequence the other day, I found myself going to quotes again. Remembering my teacher’s words, I scribbled out the quote and wrote: “Share your story”!

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Did you know that a throat chakra blockage may also manifest itself in the physical realm? Here a just a few physical symptoms:

  • Chronic sore throat
  • Recurring headaches
  • Dental problems
  • Mouth ulcers
  • Throatiness
  • Thyroid imbalance
  • Laryngitis
  • TMJ
  • Neck pain

Non-physical signs of blockage common signs:

  • Fear of speaking
  • Inability to convey thoughts
  • Shyness
  • Speech and action inconsistencies
  • Social anxiety
  • Repression of creativity
  • Stubbornness
  • Detachment

I can so relate to most of these symptoms. But the good news is, we can unblock our throat chakra. How do we do this, Elysia?  I am so glad you asked!

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Meditate on and incorporate the throat chakra’s color, blue. Implement this color into your home and wear the color more often while feeling said blockage.

We can work through and release all negative emotions. This includes guilt, pain, and resentments. Enjoy a good cry. This may help considerably. I have a girlfriend who can cry at the drop of a hat. Does this represent weakness? I don’t think so. Admiring her strength and courage to show emotion, she has become one of my ideals!

Practice mindful speech, action, and deeds. Speak openly and honestly with others often.

There is nothing wrong with who we are! Authenticity may be an overused word, but it is a necessity in keeping our throat chakra open.

Be you. Be real. Love and appreciate you and your realness! Rise above it all like the mutha-f*kkin phoenix you are! And stay blissful my friends – E

I’m ready to “Pause”

1984 Klymaxx burst onto the music scene with “The Men All Pause”! Although not anthemic, the song became a regular chorale for myself and many young women of the 80’s!

meno – From Greek mēn ‘month’. pause – Late Middle English: from Old French, from Latin pausa, from Greek pausis, from pausein ‘to stop’.

Here we are 30+ years later and it is now time for us ladies to “pause”. Myself included. As of one week ago, my doctor exclaimed to me “Welcome to Menopause!” After hanging up the phone, I looked in the mirror and smiled. “So this is me, “Menopausal Elysia.” She looks good, considering. I am okay. I am ready for whatever life has to throw at me.

I am ready to pause.


Being Comfortable in Our Own Skin

In a recent blog I wrote “How to be Comfortable in your own Skin”, I shared about accepting that God designed woman to go through these many stages in life. We get to experience hot flashes, scattered mind, clumsiness, and irritation because we are alive and we are women!

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The day after hearing the news, I am trying to meditate. “I am in Hell!” My head feels like it has been stuffed in a furnace. Sweat is dripping down my face. How do I stay in the moment and be comfortable in my own skin when my body is totally on fire? I will soon come to find that returning to the breath and meditation is actually helpful for shortening the length of these said hot flashes.

I’ve been finding myself having to “pause” a lot throughout the day, thinking if I stay perfectly still, I won’t sweat as much. Getting ready for work is starting to take much longer due to these “pauses”. This is NOT comfortable at all…

A few hours later, I am visiting the acupuncturist. Because of my history of DVTs (blood clots), my doctor wants me to try this method first. My skin has become a lovely pin cushion for an hour and I have been prescribed a Chinese herb called, “Zhi Bai Di Huang Wan”.

My Facebook Posts

October 11 at 10:31 pm:  Did I just put the wax paper in the fridge? Why is it so damn hot in here? And why is the hubby heading out to the mountains? ‪#‎shitjustgotreal ‪#‎menopause ‪#‎thestruggleisreal

October 12 at 11:22 am: You know you’ve reached middle age when the Facebook adverts are now for readers and no longer for smoking hot boots. ‪#‎Menopause ‪#‎TheStruggleisReal

October 14 at 7:45 am: My morning meditation – Om gam gana-I am on fire! Just breathe-pataye namaha. Om gam-did I remember to pack my apple?-ganapataye namaha. O-Is that sweat dripping down the side of my face?-m ganapataye namaha. Breathe Elysia, breathe, you can do this….Om Gam Ganapataye Namaha…

October 14 at 8:25pm: Today just kicked my @$$…

Something is Working

I can’t complain too much. My mom was evil when she went through this. So far, I’ve had some irritation with the hubby but not to the point of open mouth/insert foot syndrome. Hopefully, we started treatment in time.

The Chinese herbs are a little rough on the belly so I get to buy some probiotics next! However, after 3 treatments of acupuncture and less than a week on the herbs I have to say there is a noticeable improvement. The hot flashes are not as intense and have decreased in length.

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As a new hot flash begins, I find myself “pausing”. I close my eyes, take a cleansing breath and then begin to count each additional breath. By the 15th breath, it has passed. Ahh, relief!

I still take Benadryl to sleep through the night, but I am sleeping! I have purchased a pocket carabiner fan that I keep on hand at all times. In addition, Doterra sells a great roll on called Clary Calm which helps some. Yes, my life is changing and I am adding new essential items as the result. But this is okay, because this is all part of the process of being a woman, and something is working.

Diet and Exercise

Endurance is not something I possess, therefore am a true believer in Yoga. But due to the additional pounds I have picked up, I have added Yoga Sculpt at my local Core Power Yoga to my routine. The Yoga keeps me strong and grounded. The Yoga Sculpt burns energy.

Due to a back injury, my doctor suggested that I lose 30lbs. I have been on the Ketosis Diet for 2 months and have lost 18. Thanks to the almost zero sugar intake, I feel better than I have in years!

I am Okay. I am This Moment. This Too Shall Pass.

Over the years I have learned some brilliant lessons:

  • I am okay. This is not going to kill me.
  • I am this moment. I don’t have to like it. I can appreciate and respect it.
  • This too shall pass. It’s not always going to be like this.

Because of these exercises, we can have patience with ourselves when we have to “pause” for the most recent hot flash, or look for the latest item we have misplaced. We can also have compassion and tolerance for those around us when they make their mistakes if we “pause” long enough to let our frustration simmer.

Take a moment to “pause” and reflect on this very moment. Take as many “pauses” as you need.

Let’s Remember Where This all Started

Don’t forget that life is a dance, cue up some Klymaxx, move with it and have some fun!

 Key Points in Dealing with Menopause

  • Pause when you need to.
  • Return to your breath and count slowly.
  • Get comfortable in your own skin.
  • Adjust your diet and exercise accordingly.
  • Research and buy items that will make your life more comfortable.
  • Vent on social media if you need to.
  • Remember, this is only for a short time.
  • Be kind, patient and loving to yourself.
  • Dance, who cares if anyone is watching

Affirmation

Oh! It_s Friday again. Share the love that was missing during the week. In a worthy moment of peace and bliss. S. O_SadeRead more_ https_www.spiritbutton.comfriday-weekend-q

 Now Go!

Be fierce, loving, accepting, without judgment towards yourself or others.