The Elysian Life Part II.

eccleiastses-PA-EVALDIVIA8

I hope you enjoyed the tranquil first part of this series. I pray it spoke to your heart. That being said, sh!t is about to get real. Do you want an Elysian life? Are you prepared to do your utmost to attain it? Below are four more suggestions to help you get there!


Quit being a Whiny B!tch

Sh!t happens. Most of the time, we cannot control these circumstances. So let it the f*ck go. Really, you will feel peace and serenity once you accept the things you cannot change and then move on. When you whine about your situation, you not only hold yourself back, you also suck the energy out of the people around you. How effing selfish!! There is an old song written by Johnny Mercer that goes like this:

“You’ve got to accentuate the positive
Eliminate the negative
And latch on to the affirmative
Don’t mess with Mister In-Between
You’ve got to spread joy up to the maximum
Bring gloom down to the minimum
Have faith or pandemonium’s
Liable to walk upon the scene”

Really, it works. Try it. You will thank yourself. Your people will thank you. I know for a fact. I was once a chronic complainer. I complained about anyone and everyone around me. As if that would change them or the circumstance. It didn’t. It only caused me to be more miserable and people to avoid me at all costs.

Do you want good relationships? Then accept other people with as much love and tolerance you can muster. This could be difficult at first. Keep going. Practice, practice, practice…not being a whiny b!tch.

Stop Sabotaging Your Life
Why does it seem that the world is against you? Well, let’s take a look at the common denominator – YOU. Human beings tend to excel at shooting themselves in the foot. Stop. Take a pause and evaluate your motives, before you act or not act. Playing the victim or martyr role is not attractive at all.

Do you do any of the following:
• Shrink in the presence of others?

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” – Marianne Williamson

 
• Avoid emotions so as not to “rock the boat”?
Express yourself! If you have to curse, then curse. But get it out. Your feelings are valid. YOU are valid.

• Find yourself gossiping?
Well, stop that sh!t now! You don’t make yourself look better by making others look bad. This poor behavior is so evident and it defines us as such. I know I don’t want that label. Do you?

How do you know when you are sabotaging yourself? A simple gut check will suffice. All you have to do is take the time to evaluate. Slow-it-down. If you are still not sure, contact a trusted friend and get their take on it. Someone outside of the situation can give you their vantage point.

Resource:

Get Off Your @$$ and do Something.
“Procrastination is a crime, that only leads to sorrow. I can stop at any time. In fact, I will tomorrow.” – Unknown

Do you have dreams? What actions have you taken lately towards your dreams? Dreams are as good as the measures you take to achieve them. If you are still dreaming, well then Wake the F*ck Up!! Time to do something.

Fear is the number one issue that paralyzes us. It is okay to feel fear. Acknowledge this fear and then move forward. With each item you check off your to-do list, the fear begins to shrink smaller and smaller. Then you experience fearlessness. You become a fierce tiger in this jungle we call “life”! Now go get yours!

Shit gets done in the conscious world

Be Spiritually in Tune With Your God.
Spirituality begets the Elysian Life. In part I, I posed this question “But do we need it to be sunny all the time to have an Elysian Life? The answer, of course, is “No.”

When you are in tune with your God, it is easier to overcome the above setbacks in your personal development. Knowing that your God loves you regardless of your past behavior and hindrances, gives you the confidence to move forward and let go of all of them.

Relying on The Most High, will create the fearlessness you need. You will understand the feeling of being comfortable in your own skin. You will know that under all circumstances, you can live the Elysian Life.

Stay Blissful my friends. – E

Now about Living Amends

livingamends-PA-EVALDIVIA8

My recent Hub post is all about making living amends. I feel the need to bring this topic to my blog.

A living amends is basically replacing poor behavior with good behavior. Here is the link to the detailed hub: http://hubpages.com/health/Making-Living-Amends.

I have had the wonderful opportunity to make some living amends myself and have regretted none.

 


Books About Making Amends:

 


Quotes About Making Amends

“It is the highest form of self-respect to admit our errors and mistakes and make amends for them. To make a mistake is only an error in judgment, but to adhere to it when it is discovered shows infirmity of character.” – Dale Turner

“Let a nation’s fervent thanks make some amends for the toils and sufferings of those who survive.” – Edward Everett

“Classic remorse, as all the moralists are agreed, is a most undesirable sentiment. If you have behaved badly, repent, make what amends you can and address yourself to the task of behaving better next time. On no account brood over your wrongdoing. ROLLING IN THE MUCK IS NOT THE BEST WAY OF GETTING CLEAN.” – Aldous Huxley

Stay Blissful My Friends! – E

 

The Elysian Life Part I.

Elysianlife

A warm summer sun is a delightful thought as we feel the cold of a snowy evening here in Northern Colorado. But do we need it to be sunny all the time to have an Elysian Life? This question is as metaphoric as literal.

The word Elysian is defined as “Blissfull” or “Delightful”.

What is a Blissful life to you? Is it knowing  your day will begin with a cup of coffee and end with a bowl of sweet ice cream? Meditative walks in nature? Your surrounding family and good friends? Your career even?

I believe we define our own bliss. My bliss is knowing that I am comfortable in my own skin. That under any and all circumstances, I remain at peace with myself and with others. My bliss is also in inspiring others to find their bliss…Their Elysian Life.

For many years, I knew no peace. No bliss. Just utter chaos and no direction. I lived without much purpose. Thank God for Spiritual Awakenings and wonderful teachers.

How did I find this bliss?  Not on my own. I found good people who were more than happy to share their “secrets” with me. Now I must pass them on to you!


How to attain the Elysian Life

Keep it Simple

It seems the happiest people don’t have a lot of stuff. Stuff includes material items, chaos, time, even friends. Though everyone benefits from friendships.

When you look at having too many material items, you will find that the more you have the more you stress over. This can be the same with friendships. A good inventory of your friendships will help you find which friendships are quality and which are more beneficial as acquaintances.

Setting your own personal boundaries in this area is not only beneficial, it is empowering. Knowing that you are not necessarily cutting people out of your life, just acknowledging their place in it. With much love, blessing, and peace.

Taking an inventory of your material items and your current “projects” is also valuable. Too much of anything will certainly cause a lot of unnecessary drama in your life

Service to Others

After you have sorted out the material items in your life, you might find yourself giving things away. This is good.

In addition, now that you have trimmed a good portion of your time, you will find yourself with a little extra. What to do with it? Give some of it away…for free. Whether you chose to volunteer at your church or place of worship,  help a non-profit or do random acts of  kindness. The United Way is a good start to find something.

blessthelord

Living with Gratitude

I know, I know, nothing new. But this is the truth! By keeping a gratitude journal and counting your blessings, you will find a much better attitude toward life and other beings.  Just trust me on this one. Keep a gratitude journal for 21 days and if you are not happy with it, you can have your miserable old life back. Something tells me you won’t be asking for it.

Letting Go of  Expectations

This one can be quite difficult. We all have our ideas of how things “should” be. Then there is reality. We fight this battle trying to reign supreme in how we want things to be in our lives, whether it is family, work, our communities.

I once, so infuriated with a co-worker complained to another and he asked me this simple question “Did you expect something else from her?”.  True, I did even though I knew her personality.

During the holidays, expectations can be at their worst. This is the best time to let it go.

I remember one Christmas Eve when my family all met up with each other at  my grandfather’s home. I was in my first year of sobriety and the first thing I did was take a swig of my grandfather’s eggnog as he was telling me about getting the eggnog free from the food pantry “Course I had to add the booze myself!” he exclaimed. Straight to the sink I went and spit that out completely!  He apologized, but I just laughed.

Then walked in Aunt “B” and cousin “Jo”.  Aunt B had been hitting the Tequila and Vicodin and cousin Jo was definitely on Adderall. So Aunt B is talking really slow, cousin Jo was talking really fast. I expect that around 4 am the next day Aunt B was going to ask cousin Jo “What the Hell did you just say?” Not taking this lightly. I just accepted the situation. As long as I felt safe, I just sighed and smiled. I then proceeded to lovingly, laughingly watch my little nieces and nephews open their gifts. It was a great holiday!

There is Nothing New Under the Sun

I will end this week and begin next week’s blog with this. Nothing I am sharing is new. People have been doling this wisdom out for centuries. Since I have experienced such a grand transformation in my life, I feel the need to pass these little nuggets along to you. I hope you will find them as helpful as I have over the years. Stay Blissful my Friends – E

What has been will be again, what has been done will be done again; there is nothing new under the sun. – Ecclesiastes 1:9

Mondays with Michael – Tears On My Cheeks

We are back on track with another sweet poem from Michael. Thank you for sharing your truth with us Michael! – E

Michael

Tears On My Cheeks…

Tonight I have sad eyes, I think I might cry.
Please give me strength lord, I continue to fight.
The tears drip down my cheeks, I give my worries to you, God help me please.
I’m trying to get home to see my family.
I have a lot of amends to make, for all the lost years, all the mistakes.
I hate this disease for what I use to be.
A liar, a cheat, and the worst part, I became a thief.
I’m sorry to anyone, I may have hurt.
Sorry for all the grief, I was selfish, I thought I was just hurting me.
I was in so much pain, all I could do was drink, anything to not feel, anything to not think.
I hope when we meet, you can see I’m not the man I use to be.
I’m full of love and compassion.
I’ve had an awakening.
I hope you still love me, but for tonight,
The tears drip down my cheeks…
Never Give Up…
Live 2 Love…

Lucid

Lucid

Awakenings are beautiful, though sometimes painful. Spiritual awakenings are empowering. But first we must recognize when they are happening. Sometimes we choose to relive the pain time and again instead of acknowledging that they’re navigating us in the direction we are destined to go.

If we are mindful in each moment, we will be grateful as well. Even the difficult moments are part of our journey.  Life is good. Stay Blissful My Friends. – E


It is the day after the bubble has burst.

Everything is clear. Lucid.

Just as the day after this passing wicked rainstorm.

Other than the flickering of the last aspen leaves as they look down on their fallen, it is so quiet one can hear the highway several miles away.

A small sigh and a delighted smile appear.

It is time to move forward.

No turning back. But who would want to?


The coolness of an autumn afternoon wakes me from my thoughts.

Approaching a puddle, I choose to stomp through it purposefully.

Any other time I might have walked around it, just as I would to avoid the very problems in my life that I have just faced head on.


I am flexing new emotional muscle.

Who knew I had it in me?

I did.

Are you flexing as well?

Who knew you had it in you?

You did.


Wiggling my cold toes underneath my rain boots.

Giggling like a child who gets to play in the middle of the street.

Not worrying about fast cars approaching.

No strangers coming to snatch me.

I am free. I am safe.

No longer wishing I could run to another place, another life.

I am here. Now.

Breathing in the musty fall air.

Grateful for every moment, every breath.

Closing my eyes and taking it all in.


I begin to dance to the rhythm of the aspen leaves.

I am dancing with the aspen leaves.

Has nature always moved this way around me?

Maybe I’ve been too focused on the struggle and unable to see through its hazy ubiquitousness.

It doesn’t matter anyway.


Today I am awake.

I am Lucid

Lucid2

Mondays with Michael – 9 Months!

Congratulations to Michael for achieving 9 months of sobriety! I know from experience, 9 months can seem like eternity. Way to go Mike! Today, let’s celebrate with him…and Stay Blissful My Friends – E

Michael

Nine Months (9) Clean And Sober

I never knew a man could cry so many tears.

Never knew I was so full of fear.

Through the rain, through the pain,

I’ve had an awakening, no longer insane.

Here to give back, to help those in need.

This is the vision from God, I see in my dreams.

Sobriety the greatest gift from above, through my higher power,

I’m here to help those who suffer, I’m here to love…

Never Give Up…
Live 2 Love…

How to be Comfortable in Your Own Skin

 

 

 

 

Lately, it has been damn hard being comfortable in my own skin. I never was one to sweat much but now…it has been uncontrollable.  I can’t stand wearing glasses due to them pinching my nose because of all this perspiration. I know it’s not just me because there are so many people complaining about the excessive heat this year. Though I would like to attribute my latest uneasiness to global warming, I will be honest with myself. This is indeed the result of hot flashes.

Being a woman truly is a blessing. I would not trade my femininity for anything in the world. The female body, well that is sometimes the cost that must be paid for the title of queen or goddess. Whichever we choose to call ourselves. From the cradle to the grave, we women have much physical discomfort. While one irritation will indeed go away, it is soon replaced by something just as annoying.  So In menopause, women no longer have to deal with the monthly visits from Aunt Flo, but cousins Bitchy and the Heat-miser are there to take our auntie’s place. No wonder we women find it so difficult to be comfortable in our own skin.


woman-2046408_640 These days I find myself asking, “Do I really need to turn the AC on at this moment?”.  Sometimes the answer is “HELL YES!!”.  Other times I decide to challenge myself. Will I survive this hot flash?  Will I melt from all this perspiration? It might sound dramatic to you but with the rise of unknown circumstances comes a bit of anxiety.  Because “This has never happened before”!

Being the warrior queen that I am, I step up to the challenge – maybe a little shaky at first. But I will prevail. I will stand my ground. I gave birth to three children after all. Now that was real pain.  I AM a warrior and my sword is love.

At every opportunity, I will allow myself to go into a full meditative state when I start breaking into a sweat. I will chant. I will send gratitude up to my God for making me a woman. For designing me to be exactly the way I am at this very moment. Because I am real.  Because I am alive. Thank you, God!

I definitely have more sureness in my feminine self than I did when I was a young, gloriously beautiful princess.  This too is part of God’s design. We women become more confident as we lose our youthful beauty.  Another fine paradox!


When I was younger I had a smoking hot body.  Now I am just a hot mess. But back then, I worried more about what other’s thought of me than I do today. Was I a good enough wife, mother, daughter?  The answer to these questions is a resounding “No”.  Of course not. I had so much more to learn about these three elements.  I also had a lot to learn about being comfortable in my own skin.

Oh! It_s Friday again. Share the love that was missing during the week. In a worthy moment of peace and bliss. S. O_SadeRead more_ https_www.spiritbutton.comfriday-weekend-q

Then there is the issue of negativity towards being a woman. A common put down is to be called a “P*ssy”. Well, what is wrong with that? Vaginas are awesome! Vaginas are powerful!  I could really take this in so many directions but that might be for another blog. Either way, We females have been taught that it is wrong to be feminine. We need to run; we need to fight not just like men but better than men.

Well, I run like a girl. I fight like a girl…and sometimes I even cry like a girl.  This is okay.  We are women and we are designed to function as such. All this excessive male energy taking over females is contributing to an already unbalanced world.

Yin and Yang represent the male and female. Where one is weak, the other is strong. This is God’s design. Stop trying to be something you are not. Embrace your feminine selves!

Now about whether or not others like us. That is none of our business. If someone stands in judgment of us, well they are really just judging themselves. Do you ever worry about people in line at the grocery store…judging you? Well, stop! They don’t even know you and you will probably never see them again. If you do, will it really matter what they think of you next week, next month, next year? You might even find that you don’t particularly like them. Nothing wrong with that.

Being comfortable in my own skin is going to bed with a clear conscience. The knowledge that I made every effort to be the best Elysia I can possibly be. No more and no less than that. No better and no worse than anyone else. If I had made every effort to repair any poor actions or inactions and made a note to do better next time, I can sleep in peace…That is if the hot flashes don’t wake me up. But that’s not the point.


Oh! It_s Friday again. Share the love that was missing during the week. In a worthy moment of peace and bliss. S. O_SadeRead more_ https_www.spiritbutton.comfriday-weekend-q

How do we become comfortable in our own skin?

  • We remember to love and nourish our physical, mental and spiritual bodies.
  • We approach others with that same love (not like – love).
  • We take responsibility for our own actions and work to make things right with others we have offended.
  • We spend time doing for others without expecting something in return. This is called “service”.
  • We find closed-mouthed friends that we can vent our reality too. Friends who won’t judge us.
  • We become the same type of non-judgmental friend that we wish to have. Begin the change…
  • Most importantly, we have a connection to Spirit daily – with an open mind and an open heart.

Try these and let me know how it works for you.  Stay blissful my friends. – E

If you liked this,  check out: Let Go, Keep Going, or Start Over

Not a Victim, No Longer a Volunteer

Have you ever had someone try to hold you down? Hold you back from your true potential? There have been a few times in my life when someone had given me advice sounding something like “Elysia, you might find that some of these people will try to hold you down or keep you in your place. Don’t let them. Just keep blossoming. Keep growing”.  Good words from well discerning friends.  Did I listen to them? Well I guess that depends.

I have heard the saying “There are no victims, only volunteers.” several times in my life. Discounting real victims of crimes and abuse, this is a true concept. I have never been held down unless I had let someone do so. In addition, once I became an adult I was only a victim when I volunteered to be one.

You see there were times that Hell no, I was not taking anyone’s bullshit. Then there were times that I might let someone else bully me until I realized there was nothing in it for myself. This would usually result in some kind of passive-aggressive behavior on my part. If you were on the receiving end of that, well I really do apologize. Because I can have a razor-sharp tongue when I let myself. I have made men and women cry with the words I have said. For this, I have no pride whatsoever.

In other cases, I might have found that being the victim could serve me quite well. In relationships, I might get nice rewards. When reminding the forlorn “victimizer” of what they had done, well I could win an argument or manipulate a situation to go my way. More so, if there were witnesses I might be able to use them for something at a later time. So as mentioned earlier, I volunteered for such victimization. Though I did not realize it at the time.


Fortunately for myself and my loved ones, something wild happened. I got clean & sober! I began to work with a sponsor and with other women in recovery. They taught me that I just had to keep my side of the street clean and not to worry about anyone else’s side. They taught me to take responsibility for my part in every situation.

As I grew in my recovery I developed the courage to walk away from a diseased, abusive marriage. This abuse went both ways. We BOTH participated in sick, emotional games and it was time to realize that it was not going to get better.  I learned to stay away from such relationships and how to set boundaries.

I learned that I, ME, MYSELF – would be the one who would teach others how to treat me. I continued this as I finished up raising my kids. It was uncomfortable and sometimes I thought they would hate me for good. That did not happen. What happened?  They began to respect me like they never had. Because I respected myself.


h2

One of my greatest shortcomings was letting people treat me like some kind of second class citizen. I then passed that on to my children. My children, who I thought the world of. They now felt like second class citizens. My sponsor explained that I was the one who would have to change that.

I remember watching a movie called “Once Were Warriors” with my eldest son just six months before I left my marriage.  It was a devastatingly sad movie but worth it to watch to the very end when the abused wife stands up to her abuser. This scene caused my son and me to look at each other and without a word we just nodded.

Lately I have been lead to the act of sending my kids little messages via text or messenger reminding them that they are royalty. That they have every bit of validation to go out and get theirs. Because we are warriors. We are strong and will not be held down.


Did you know just how empowering some Disco songs were?  Such as the lyrics to Ain’t No Stoppin’ Us Now By McFadden & Whitehead:

“And if you’ve ever been held down before

I know you’ll refuse to be held down anymore!

Don’t you let nothing, nothing

Stand in your way!”

So I say to you this fine Tuesday Morning: You might find that some of these people will try to hold you down or keep you in your place. Don’t let them. Just keep blossoming. Keep growing! And stay blissful my friends – E

Because Growth

because growth 2

Another year on this Earth and I am reflecting on growth.  How I have learned to move on from childish and selfish behavior. The blame game has gotten old.

I once asked a friend  how to stop playing emotional games when I had been playing them most of my life. She replied “By reminding yourself that no one wins at these games. If you can’t win, you are less interested in playing”.  This proved to be one of the most valuable pieces of advice I had ever followed.


So here are a few of my growth points:

Because growth-PA-EVALDIVIA8
I respect my mother instead of blaming her.

Because growth.

I don’t play emotional games with people anymore.

Because growth.

I eat off a plate instead of straight from a can.

Because growth.

I no longer refer to my ex-husband as “Satan”

Because growth.

I enjoy vegetables instead of dropping them on the floor for the dogs to eat.

Because growth.

I sew new buttons on an old shirt instead of throwing it away

Because growth.

I understand constructive criticism is given to me out of love and not hate.

Because growth.

I don’t think the world is against me anymore.

Because growth.

I’m wearing clothes that fit me these days.

Because growth.

I’m not afraid to dance, lest I look like a fool

Because growth.

I have ceased to break things when I am angry.

Because growth.


Have you taken a look at your growth points lately? You ‘d probably be amazed at what you find. It is true that what is so important to us today will most likely not matter at all a year from now. Slowing down is a good thing. The impulse buys might not make sense next week.

It is a good practice to use a wish list and not act upon it for a full seven days. After which, you may decide that you are not interested in the item anymore.

I remember I was infuriated at another woman a few years ago. I ran to my car to head over to her place and…what? Maybe tell her off, maybe do something else that I might have regretted. My son just happened to pull into my driveway to ask me a question. I annoyingly gave him an answer. Then he asked me for a cigarette. I handed him one. He then asked if he could have the pack. I tossed it to him. At that moment, he looked me in the eye and said “Mom, whatever you are about to do, DON’T”.  I stopped, took a breath and nodded my head.  Years later, I am glad I listened to him. Because none of what was going on then is at all of essence to me today. I don’t even smoke anymore.

This birthday has been quite relaxing. I am indeed partying like a 46-year old.  No longer needing a whole week-long event with very little sleep. Quite the opposite. A good Yoga practice, nice lunch and a walk followed by a nap. Ha! Sounds boring? I will take my boring life over the drama-filled  one I once lived.

Tonight’s gift is a moment spent out on the deck,  watching the Aspen leaves flicker in the breeze and gazing upon the crescent moon in the  coolness of a dark evening as Autumn approaches.  This is what matters to me now.  Reading a book while soaking in the tub and drinking a cup of tea. This is real life.

On this my birthday, I do not ask for presents. Instead, I wish you all these very  gifts of Peace and Serenity.  Because Growth.

Stay Blissful My Friends! – E

Mondays with Michael – Dreams

This week, Michael has written about one of my favorite topics. Dream on and Stay Blissful My Friends! – E

MWM

Dreams come true when you believe.
Anything is possible, anything you can conceive.
Miracles are real. I know, Look at me.
231 days ago in the hospital, just about dead from this vicious disease.
I’ve had an awakening, thank you God for this gift I have received.
My mind is clear, my body is clean. Nothing but love, free from insanity,
I’m here to help those in need.
I want you to be free and happy.
This is my dream…
Never Give Up…
Live 2 Love…


dreams