The Elysian Life Part II.


I hope you enjoyed the tranquil first part of this series. I pray it spoke to your heart. That being said, sh!t is about to get real. Do you want an Elysian life? Are you prepared to do your utmost to attain it? Below are four more suggestions to help you get there!

Quit being a Whiny B!tch

Sh!t happens. Most of the time, we cannot control these circumstances. So let it the f*ck go. Really, you will feel peace and serenity once you accept the things you cannot change and then move on. When you whine about your situation, you not only hold yourself back, you also suck the energy out of the people around you. How effing selfish!! There is an old song written by Johnny Mercer that goes like this:

“You’ve got to accentuate the positive
Eliminate the negative
And latch on to the affirmative
Don’t mess with Mister In-Between
You’ve got to spread joy up to the maximum
Bring gloom down to the minimum
Have faith or pandemonium’s
Liable to walk upon the scene”

Really, it works. Try it. You will thank yourself. Your people will thank you. I know for a fact. I was once a chronic complainer. I complained about anyone and everyone around me. As if that would change them or the circumstance. It didn’t. It only caused me to be more miserable and people to avoid me at all costs.

Do you want good relationships? Then accept other people with as much love and tolerance you can muster. This could be difficult at first. Keep going. Practice, practice, practice…not being a whiny b!tch.

Stop Sabotaging Your Life
Why does it seem that the world is against you? Well, let’s take a look at the common denominator – YOU. Human beings tend to excel at shooting themselves in the foot. Stop. Take a pause and evaluate your motives, before you act or not act. Playing the victim or martyr role is not attractive at all.

Do you do any of the following:
• Shrink in the presence of others?

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” – Marianne Williamson

• Avoid emotions so as not to “rock the boat”?
Express yourself! If you have to curse, then curse. But get it out. Your feelings are valid. YOU are valid.

• Find yourself gossiping?
Well, stop that sh!t now! You don’t make yourself look better by making others look bad. This poor behavior is so evident and it defines us as such. I know I don’t want that label. Do you?

How do you know when you are sabotaging yourself? A simple gut check will suffice. All you have to do is take the time to evaluate. Slow-it-down. If you are still not sure, contact a trusted friend and get their take on it. Someone outside of the situation can give you their vantage point.


Get Off Your @$$ and do Something.
“Procrastination is a crime, that only leads to sorrow. I can stop at any time. In fact, I will tomorrow.” – Unknown

Do you have dreams? What actions have you taken lately towards your dreams? Dreams are as good as the measures you take to achieve them. If you are still dreaming, well then Wake the F*ck Up!! Time to do something.

Fear is the number one issue that paralyzes us. It is okay to feel fear. Acknowledge this fear and then move forward. With each item you check off your to-do list, the fear begins to shrink smaller and smaller. Then you experience fearlessness. You become a fierce tiger in this jungle we call “life”! Now go get yours!

Shit gets done in the conscious world

Be Spiritually in Tune With Your God.
Spirituality begets the Elysian Life. In part I, I posed this question “But do we need it to be sunny all the time to have an Elysian Life? The answer, of course, is “No.”

When you are in tune with your God, it is easier to overcome the above setbacks in your personal development. Knowing that your God loves you regardless of your past behavior and hindrances, gives you the confidence to move forward and let go of all of them.

Relying on The Most High, will create the fearlessness you need. You will understand the feeling of being comfortable in your own skin. You will know that under all circumstances, you can live the Elysian Life.

Stay Blissful my friends. – E

The Pink Pants


Mom is on her way to the mall and asks me if I want anything. Hmm…I have been living in Levi 501’s and flannels for most of the year. “Something pink.” I reply, not even knowing what I am asking for besides color. But my mom is good at figuring this stuff out.

She returns with a really cute pair of pink pants. They actually make me smile. A sober smile at the moment since I haven’t drank or drugged for a few days. Not because I don’t want to, the opportunity did not present itself to me. My mom has also bought a pretty, white ruffled top that might be a bit too tight around the chest. I don’t complain. It shows a little cleavage, just enough that I can get away with wearing it at the age of 13.

I meet up with my boyfriend at Petit Park later that afternoon. “What’s with the pink?” he asks. I shrug my shoulders. “Cute.”, he says. We hold hands and walk through the park not saying much. It is a mild spring day in Granada Hills, CA. Not a cloud in the sky, a strong sun, yet there is a soft breeze that keeps it from becoming too hot. Though if you were in a car, the heat would feel smoldering. If you stand in the shade, you would get goose bumps from the chill. On days such as these, I found myself rotating from shade to sun as I attempt to achieve the perfect temperature.

My boyfriend and I think we are in love for eternity, or at least por vida. We have no idea of each other’s future journey through drug addiction and institutions. Right now we only want to be together. They say love is blind and it can be. When you are young it is blind to any view of the future. All that matters is right here, right now. I believe this to be a gift. For if we were to see what was actually coming down the pipeline, we might have chosen not to go on at all.

Just as the pink pants only lasted a season, so did we as a couple. Though for many years we kept getting back together hoping to renew that feeling. To our disappointment, time and distance did not allow for it to happen. It would be like covering the pink pants with patches. Though it may work, the fabric will be forever altered.

So we both learned to chase other things. Our individual addictions. We found this to be the best way to break up for good. No hard feelings. Always a loving hug each time we ran into each other. Though these accidental meet-ups became fewer and further between until 25 years had passed without an encounter.

I’ve become quite patched up over the years, inside and out. Never the same. Sometimes looking good for the wear, sometimes not so good. But always different. Growth is like that. Life is like that.

So we learn to be grateful for the journey. Even when we remember the beauty of what we looked like when we were brand new and without any obvious flaws, we can appreciate the patches. We can also thank our Highest Power for mending us along the span of our lives.

Have you held onto an item of clothing for many years? Might it be a representation of something greater? If so, I would love to hear about it.

Stay Blissful My Friends – E

Not a Victim, No Longer a Volunteer

Have you ever had someone try to hold you down? Hold you back from your true potential? There have been a few times in my life when someone had given me advice sounding something like “Elysia, you might find that some of these people will try to hold you down or keep you in your place. Don’t let them. Just keep blossoming. Keep growing”.  Good words from well discerning friends.  Did I listen to them? Well I guess that depends.

I have heard the saying “There are no victims, only volunteers.” several times in my life. Discounting real victims of crimes and abuse, this is a true concept. I have never been held down unless I had let someone do so. In addition, once I became an adult I was only a victim when I volunteered to be one.

You see there were times that Hell no, I was not taking anyone’s bullshit. Then there were times that I might let someone else bully me until I realized there was nothing in it for myself. This would usually result in some kind of passive-aggressive behavior on my part. If you were on the receiving end of that, well I really do apologize. Because I can have a razor-sharp tongue when I let myself. I have made men and women cry with the words I have said. For this, I have no pride whatsoever.

In other cases, I might have found that being the victim could serve me quite well. In relationships, I might get nice rewards. When reminding the forlorn “victimizer” of what they had done, well I could win an argument or manipulate a situation to go my way. More so, if there were witnesses I might be able to use them for something at a later time. So as mentioned earlier, I volunteered for such victimization. Though I did not realize it at the time.

Fortunately for myself and my loved ones, something wild happened. I got clean & sober! I began to work with a sponsor and with other women in recovery. They taught me that I just had to keep my side of the street clean and not to worry about anyone else’s side. They taught me to take responsibility for my part in every situation.

As I grew in my recovery I developed the courage to walk away from a diseased, abusive marriage. This abuse went both ways. We BOTH participated in sick, emotional games and it was time to realize that it was not going to get better.  I learned to stay away from such relationships and how to set boundaries.

I learned that I, ME, MYSELF – would be the one who would teach others how to treat me. I continued this as I finished up raising my kids. It was uncomfortable and sometimes I thought they would hate me for good. That did not happen. What happened?  They began to respect me like they never had. Because I respected myself.


One of my greatest shortcomings was letting people treat me like some kind of second class citizen. I then passed that on to my children. My children, who I thought the world of. They now felt like second class citizens. My sponsor explained that I was the one who would have to change that.

I remember watching a movie called “Once Were Warriors” with my eldest son just six months before I left my marriage.  It was a devastatingly sad movie but worth it to watch to the very end when the abused wife stands up to her abuser. This scene caused my son and me to look at each other and without a word we just nodded.

Lately I have been lead to the act of sending my kids little messages via text or messenger reminding them that they are royalty. That they have every bit of validation to go out and get theirs. Because we are warriors. We are strong and will not be held down.

Did you know just how empowering some Disco songs were?  Such as the lyrics to Ain’t No Stoppin’ Us Now By McFadden & Whitehead:

“And if you’ve ever been held down before

I know you’ll refuse to be held down anymore!

Don’t you let nothing, nothing

Stand in your way!”

So I say to you this fine Tuesday Morning: You might find that some of these people will try to hold you down or keep you in your place. Don’t let them. Just keep blossoming. Keep growing! And stay blissful my friends – E

Because Growth

because growth 2

Another year on this Earth and I am reflecting on growth.  How I have learned to move on from childish and selfish behavior. The blame game has gotten old.

I once asked a friend  how to stop playing emotional games when I had been playing them most of my life. She replied “By reminding yourself that no one wins at these games. If you can’t win, you are less interested in playing”.  This proved to be one of the most valuable pieces of advice I had ever followed.

So here are a few of my growth points:

Because growth-PA-EVALDIVIA8
I respect my mother instead of blaming her.

Because growth.

I don’t play emotional games with people anymore.

Because growth.

I eat off a plate instead of straight from a can.

Because growth.

I no longer refer to my ex-husband as “Satan”

Because growth.

I enjoy vegetables instead of dropping them on the floor for the dogs to eat.

Because growth.

I sew new buttons on an old shirt instead of throwing it away

Because growth.

I understand constructive criticism is given to me out of love and not hate.

Because growth.

I don’t think the world is against me anymore.

Because growth.

I’m wearing clothes that fit me these days.

Because growth.

I’m not afraid to dance, lest I look like a fool

Because growth.

I have ceased to break things when I am angry.

Because growth.

Have you taken a look at your growth points lately? You ‘d probably be amazed at what you find. It is true that what is so important to us today will most likely not matter at all a year from now. Slowing down is a good thing. The impulse buys might not make sense next week.

It is a good practice to use a wish list and not act upon it for a full seven days. After which, you may decide that you are not interested in the item anymore.

I remember I was infuriated at another woman a few years ago. I ran to my car to head over to her place and…what? Maybe tell her off, maybe do something else that I might have regretted. My son just happened to pull into my driveway to ask me a question. I annoyingly gave him an answer. Then he asked me for a cigarette. I handed him one. He then asked if he could have the pack. I tossed it to him. At that moment, he looked me in the eye and said “Mom, whatever you are about to do, DON’T”.  I stopped, took a breath and nodded my head.  Years later, I am glad I listened to him. Because none of what was going on then is at all of essence to me today. I don’t even smoke anymore.

This birthday has been quite relaxing. I am indeed partying like a 46-year old.  No longer needing a whole week-long event with very little sleep. Quite the opposite. A good Yoga practice, nice lunch and a walk followed by a nap. Ha! Sounds boring? I will take my boring life over the drama-filled  one I once lived.

Tonight’s gift is a moment spent out on the deck,  watching the Aspen leaves flicker in the breeze and gazing upon the crescent moon in the  coolness of a dark evening as Autumn approaches.  This is what matters to me now.  Reading a book while soaking in the tub and drinking a cup of tea. This is real life.

On this my birthday, I do not ask for presents. Instead, I wish you all these very  gifts of Peace and Serenity.  Because Growth.

Stay Blissful My Friends! – E