faith – Living Elysian

Back To Me

December 9, 2018December 15, 2018 EVLeave a comment

I feel like I’m doing my own version Eat, Pray Love. But more like Love, Pray, Starve…

Exactly one year ago, I was falling in love with a man I had only met twice in 2017. But we wrote to each other quite often. He inspired me to write with all the rawness in my soul. Almost exactly one year ago, he surprised me in Hawaii. He showed up for my Yoga Teacher graduation.

We fell fast and hard. He lived on the East Coast, I lived in Colorado. But we met up around the 8^th of each month and then spent the summer and fall in Texas together. For the first time in my life, I let a man be really good to me.

I welcomed him in. That he would know me, and I would know him. More intimately than anyone else. I let him see the good, the bad, the vulnerable, and even the insecure at times.

The boyfriend and I are good to be together. We are good staying in an RV in a small West Texas town. We are good to be apart for days, weeks, and even months.

We’ve connected in a way, I had never known possible. No drama, no games, just true love.

When an incident would more commonly lead to packed bags and a long car drive out of town, I remained. We walked through these moments together. It wasn’t easy. But so worth it.

But now, it’s time to get back to me…

I sound like a Fergie song. Blah! Have I been reduced to becoming a walking cliche of pop culture and inspirational quotes? And is anyone even reading this sh!t?

The medicine woman I met at the beginning of this trip has extended an invitation for a 3-week spiritual walk next year. There is much to consider, and I will first consult with my sponsor about some concerns I have before I can commit. Though, everything this lady shared with me seems to be a confirmation of sorts.

Alone in Olon

Did I really have to fly all the way to South America to feel lonely? Why Yes. Yes, I did. As I said last week, this has been a year of excess in the States for me. Mostly good, but not all.

So now I am detoxing from smoking, sugar, and (gah!) sex. Even the private party sex. (Oh, don’t judge! If you’ve never done it, you’re a liar.)

Anyway, back to me…

This first week in Olon has got me all twisted. I eat, work and sleep. I sleep a lot because I want chocolate cake, a cigarette, and my man.

I Have Found My People

But on the 3^rd day, it is beautiful out and I must hit the beach. I also meet a friend on the Facebook Expat group. While we were communicating back and forth, we find out that she and her family are staying upstairs from me.

I have found my people! We are open about everything. My new pal will not tell me where to buy smokes (even though I don’t ask).

But a few days later I figure it out. I tell my new friends that I now know. But I chose not to buy a pack. This smoking cessation thing is a lot harder than it was the last time I quit. But I have not given in. They cheer me on!

Did I mention, that my people also live in an RV back in Canada? We talk about renting the big house on this property next year together. And extending our stay to 6 months.

But back to me…

Contentment

It’s incredible, how Ecuador has taught me how much I don’t need. My closet does not floweth over. My refrigerator is almost empty. But I’m neither naked nor hungry.

I come from a world that is conditioned to live a certain lifestyle. Though many of us don’t realize that this lifestyle is a choice. I have been hustling for new business constantly instead of being content with the clients I have right now.

What if I stopped working so hard to find more business and just focus on giving better service to my clients? I sound like the “Jerry McGuire” of the Online Business Management world. But I think I’ve tapped into something.

I don’t need as much money as I make already. What if I just lived off what I need and save the rest for another day?

We don’t have to choose what everyone else is doing if we don’t want to. Look at your lifestyle. Is this what you really want? If so, good. Be happy. If not, seek what brings you joy and go after it.

While you are working on this, I will get back to me…

“Place yourself in the middle of the stream of power and wisdom which animates all whom it floats, and you are without effort impelled to truth, to right and a perfect contentment.”

― Ralph Waldo Emerson, Spiritual Laws

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Keep up the Pace

October 17, 2016October 17, 2016 EVLeave a comment

francesco-gallarotti — Photo by Francesco Gallarotti Unsplash.com

I am a marathon runner. I ran the New York City marathon and almost died. I tried to run, like, a two-minute mile early on in the race. I was crazy enough to think I could win. After seven miles I thought I would die, but I slowed down my pace and kept going – Sean Combs

I find running to be a fascinating art, sport, and spiritual activity. Unfortunately, I do not possess the endurance to participate. My husband is a runner and I love to ask him questions about his running.

Today, I wanted to know all about pacing. Particularly when a runner finds himself, or herself going faster than originally planned. The potential of burning out and losing time is a huge possibility.

“What do you do? How do you get yourself to slow down? Is that even possible?” I was overloading him with questions. Fortunately, he loves to talk about running. The hubby explained to me how a runner’s mindset is crucial when this happens. “Because it feels good running that fast, we have to keep in mind, the goal – the purpose.”

He further explained the mind of an experienced runner, who has probably done this on one occasion or another. So in addition to the physical and spiritual art of running, there also exists, the mental.

Such is life when we have a specific goal in mind. I have found myself obsessing over a new business idea, process, or application. I have also looked at the clock at times and asked myself where the time had gone.

What has worked for me is setting smaller goals to achieve the bigger ones. One particular time management system “Getting things Done“, has been extremely helpful to me when important achievements were made these past few years.

We have the choice to approach our goals as a sprint or a marathon. Whatever works for the individual. For myself, it depends on which juncture in my path I am at the moment. Because there are also the occasions when we do have to speed up the pace.

“being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience, and giving joyful thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of his holy people in the kingdom of light.” – Colossians 1:11-12

Where are you in your journey? Are you pacing or sprinting? What action do you need to take? Slow down or speed up, just keep moving. Stay Blissful My Friends – E

Sunday Shot of Bliss VII.

July 12, 2015July 12, 2015 EVLeave a comment

Good Times-Bad Times

Enjoy prosperity while you can, but when hard times strike, realize that both come from God. Remember that nothing is certain in this life. – Ecclesiastes 7:14

My faith is not so much in danger when hard times hit. These are the moments I am brought to my knees. In my anguish, I will say to my God “I can’t do this anymore.” He will softly reply, “Good, now let me handle it.”

But when things are going smoothly, I have to be extra alert to my complacency. Sometimes, when the momentum is strong – so is my ego. EGO = Edging God Out. Such behavior can lead to self-made misery, of which I am a good architect – if I don’t remain spiritually vigilant.

This is evident within my marriage. My husband chose to marry me when I was in the thick of my fight with Gastroparesis. Having lost 65 pounds from starving the prior year and not knowing if this weight loss/starving would end in the near future, he still wanted to marry me.

During this time there were numerous trips to the ER. One night in particular, my husband would tell me a year later he thought for sure I would not be coming home that night. I had no idea what his fears were because he remained so strong. There were nights, after puking my guts out I would find him in the bedroom straightening out the comforter and diffusing peppermint essential oil. There would be a cough drop laying on my pillow waiting for me. This is when our marriage was at its strongest.

Now two years into my remission, we have to pause at times and discuss how we are doing. So used to functioning under difficult circumstances, we now have to get used to living with my good health. It seems to take more work, more vigilance. We both know how worthwhile it is. So we do this because we love each other. Because we are committed.

This takes daily communication. Daily communication with each other. Daily communication with God. Spiritual Vigilance.

Daily communication with God

I am not talking dogma. I am referring to a daily conversation with your God, however it works for you. Some pray on their knees, some in a chair, some in their car. When I think about road trips with my husband, I recognize that these are some of the best conversations we have. So why not with God? Some use prayer beads to keep focus during prayer. Some pray for an assigned length of time and some just go with the flow. Prayer is personal. Like any other form of communication, it takes practice to find your rhythm. My prayer life is my prayer life and yours is yours. Neither are the same nor are they wrong.

Staying in touch with God daily makes it so much easier to call upon Him when the sh*t hits the fan. (Yes I did use a four-lettered word and no, I don’t think God minds at all.) We can avoid that awkward beginning of prayer “God, I know I only talk to you when things go very wrong, but…” Not that God needs us to pray to him, prayer is for our own benefit. I am fairly certain that God is NOT checking off on a chart each time we pray to him. We are not on a spiritual gold star system.

The other part is in listening for God’s voice or seeking His messages if you will. So many lessons are to be learned from all of His creation if you are truly searching for them. People laugh when I say that God speaks to me through my dogs. “Your dog talks to you?”, my granddaughter once asked. Not exactly. I will see a manner of behavior in them that will remind me of something I need to work on in myself. Because I am paying attention now. I am asking God to speak to me however He so choses.

All this takes time and practice. A good start:

Our Father who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us, and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.

For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, for ever and ever.

Amen.

Stay Blissful My Friends – E