Utilizing Your Confidence Muscle

Galatians 5:22-23 says:
“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law.”

In July of 2015, I was one of many fortunate people in the audience listening to Bonnie St. John, our Keynote Speaker share her exciting life. Bonnie St. John is the first African-American to win medals in Winter Paralympic competition as a ski racer. Her story was powerful and I felt a connection to it as we had some similar family dynamics growing up.

I had purchased her book “Live Your Joy”, had it signed by Bonnie and then placed it on my nightstand. The thing about my relationship with books is that I have to put them on a schedule. That is just how many books I have in my home. I try to read no more than two a month. So I would longingly look at Bonnie beautifully smiling at me from the cover of her publication, knowing I would get to it…soon.

And here I am! Loving every word of it. I have just finished the chapter “Confidence…Joy’s Main Muscle”, and I remember Bonnie sharing this story at the conference. It is so brilliant, I just have to share!

The story begins with basically nothing going as planned for Bonnie.  Though her hair was in curlers and she was in her gym clothes, she was bound and determined to keep the promise she had made to her young daughter to visit the aquarium.

The excerpts below continue with the story though I am skipping a few paragraphs to include just these few gems:

“There I was, strolling into the aquarium with curlers in my hair, a bright blue mechanical leg, and a two-year-old in tow. Bless her heart, Darcy didn’t think for a moment there was anything odd about the image her good ol’ mom was presenting. There were others, though, not quite so oblivious. I was awash in a sea of eye-rolling glances, sotto voce mutterings, and even some rude pointing and laughing from the younger less-inhibited patrons.

Years of experience in being stared at in this way kicked in for me. I met their gazes… and simply smiled. It takes a special kind of backbone to do that – to have everyone look at you as though you are strange or crazy (or  both!) and to look back with complete confidence….

How is it that it can feel so good to do something so difficult?It was actually exhilarating for me to test myself in this way. I wouldn’t want to do it every day, but I realized that it felt like I was exercising a muscle – a confidence muscle. It was a familiar feeling because I had to do it as a child…

To me, utilizing the confidence muscle is crucial for living joy from the inside out.”


WOW! I want that! Don’t you want that? How many times have I gone to the grocery store with my head down because I looked like “a scrub”? I cannot count the number on my two hands.

It is one thing to express confidence when we are all put together in our best get-up. But to do this when we are feeling not so glamorous, as a matter of fact, maybe in sweats and a stained t-shirt! I had never imagined this.

Mind you, I come from a strong line of vain people. We were not seen outside the home without makeup and hair fully intact. In this reading, Bonnie not only tells us we don’t have to, but she challenges us to exercise our confidence muscle when we are out knowing we don’t look our best. Then to look people in the eye and smile.

What I hadn’t realized these past few months, is I have been exercising and utilizing my confidence muscle. Somehow, this lesson she shared with us back in July stuck with me. When the hubby and I went on vacation, we chose to camp on the beach. Even when we left camp and went site-seeing, I wore no makeup and my hair in a bandana. I packed very little clothes to wear and none of them were fancy!

Of course, this would be the vacation that we would bump into Daniel Baldwin, who also has a gorgeous smile of his own! Did I worry about how I looked? No, I just looked Daniel straight in the eye and flashed a smile right back at him as he walked on by, trying to keep up with his pretty little daughters!

Picking up this book has been worth the wait. I wish to Live My Joy and I wish the same for all of you. Stay Blissful My Friends – E



How to be Comfortable in Your Own Skin





Lately, it has been damn hard being comfortable in my own skin. I never was one to sweat much but now…it has been uncontrollable.  I can’t stand wearing glasses due to them pinching my nose because of all this perspiration. I know it’s not just me because there are so many people complaining about the excessive heat this year. Though I would like to attribute my latest uneasiness to global warming, I will be honest with myself. This is indeed the result of hot flashes.

Being a woman truly is a blessing. I would not trade my femininity for anything in the world. The female body, well that is sometimes the cost that must be paid for the title of queen or goddess. Whichever we choose to call ourselves. From the cradle to the grave, we women have much physical discomfort. While one irritation will indeed go away, it is soon replaced by something just as annoying.  So In menopause, women no longer have to deal with the monthly visits from Aunt Flo, but cousins Bitchy and the Heat-miser are there to take our auntie’s place. No wonder we women find it so difficult to be comfortable in our own skin.

woman-2046408_640 These days I find myself asking, “Do I really need to turn the AC on at this moment?”.  Sometimes the answer is “HELL YES!!”.  Other times I decide to challenge myself. Will I survive this hot flash?  Will I melt from all this perspiration? It might sound dramatic to you but with the rise of unknown circumstances comes a bit of anxiety.  Because “This has never happened before”!

Being the warrior queen that I am, I step up to the challenge – maybe a little shaky at first. But I will prevail. I will stand my ground. I gave birth to three children after all. Now that was real pain.  I AM a warrior and my sword is love.

At every opportunity, I will allow myself to go into a full meditative state when I start breaking into a sweat. I will chant. I will send gratitude up to my God for making me a woman. For designing me to be exactly the way I am at this very moment. Because I am real.  Because I am alive. Thank you, God!

I definitely have more sureness in my feminine self than I did when I was a young, gloriously beautiful princess.  This too is part of God’s design. We women become more confident as we lose our youthful beauty.  Another fine paradox!

When I was younger I had a smoking hot body.  Now I am just a hot mess. But back then, I worried more about what other’s thought of me than I do today. Was I a good enough wife, mother, daughter?  The answer to these questions is a resounding “No”.  Of course not. I had so much more to learn about these three elements.  I also had a lot to learn about being comfortable in my own skin.

Oh! It_s Friday again. Share the love that was missing during the week. In a worthy moment of peace and bliss. S. O_SadeRead more_ https_www.spiritbutton.comfriday-weekend-q

Then there is the issue of negativity towards being a woman. A common put down is to be called a “P*ssy”. Well, what is wrong with that? Vaginas are awesome! Vaginas are powerful!  I could really take this in so many directions but that might be for another blog. Either way, We females have been taught that it is wrong to be feminine. We need to run; we need to fight not just like men but better than men.

Well, I run like a girl. I fight like a girl…and sometimes I even cry like a girl.  This is okay.  We are women and we are designed to function as such. All this excessive male energy taking over females is contributing to an already unbalanced world.

Yin and Yang represent the male and female. Where one is weak, the other is strong. This is God’s design. Stop trying to be something you are not. Embrace your feminine selves!

Now about whether or not others like us. That is none of our business. If someone stands in judgment of us, well they are really just judging themselves. Do you ever worry about people in line at the grocery store…judging you? Well, stop! They don’t even know you and you will probably never see them again. If you do, will it really matter what they think of you next week, next month, next year? You might even find that you don’t particularly like them. Nothing wrong with that.

Being comfortable in my own skin is going to bed with a clear conscience. The knowledge that I made every effort to be the best Elysia I can possibly be. No more and no less than that. No better and no worse than anyone else. If I had made every effort to repair any poor actions or inactions and made a note to do better next time, I can sleep in peace…That is if the hot flashes don’t wake me up. But that’s not the point.

Oh! It_s Friday again. Share the love that was missing during the week. In a worthy moment of peace and bliss. S. O_SadeRead more_ https_www.spiritbutton.comfriday-weekend-q

How do we become comfortable in our own skin?

  • We remember to love and nourish our physical, mental and spiritual bodies.
  • We approach others with that same love (not like – love).
  • We take responsibility for our own actions and work to make things right with others we have offended.
  • We spend time doing for others without expecting something in return. This is called “service”.
  • We find closed-mouthed friends that we can vent our reality too. Friends who won’t judge us.
  • We become the same type of non-judgmental friend that we wish to have. Begin the change…
  • Most importantly, we have a connection to Spirit daily – with an open mind and an open heart.

Try these and let me know how it works for you.  Stay blissful my friends. – E

If you liked this,  check out: Let Go, Keep Going, or Start Over