Feeling Abandoned

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Photo Source: Dahiana Candelo Unsplash.com

Things have been in a constant state of change around me lately. I have this feeling of disconnection with my kids, my boss, and  my friends. I know this is internal so I get to take the time to examine these feeling. I invite you to join me.

Schedule

I have had to  add 4 hours a week to focus on physical therapy, adjustments, pain management and  traction therapy. This is an effectual process of getting my body back to health. For the first two weeks, no Yoga. Which, of course, has created a bit of a strain to my being. But now, I am able to add Gentle Yoga and strength training to my schedule. More shuffling. Sigh.

A Cold

In the midst of this, I have come down with a cold. This affects my ability to get out and socialize with others. Most importantly, my kids and friends. I have made it a priority to cultivate my relationships since I got back from Hawaii and I definitely feel the pull when I am disconnected.

So, my writing assignment is to look at three key items: What does it feel like when I am not connecting, What does it feel like when I am connecting, and What can I do to make the connection better.

What does it feel like when I am not connecting?

I feel sad, abandoned, like I have no impact on others. This is probably not true, yet I feel it all the same. Where is everyone? Why doesn’t anyone call or text me?  Is everyone mad at me? I went so far as to send the below text to my son:

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Probably not the best way to reach out. Thankfully, my son is a patient man. Shortly after this text, I had to cancel my plans with my daughter because of this damn cold. So that was not on her at all.

What does it feel like when I am connecting?

I tend to feel a good energy when I am connected. I enjoy the bliss of gathering over meals, music, and celebration. It  is almost as if I feel more whole. A friend of mine, who lost her daughter recently expressed the loss of her daughter on a physical level as if her left side no longer works the same.

So this connection to my children, of course,  began in the womb and when it feels like I am out of whack, most likely this is due to the desire for that physical connection as well as emotional/spiritual. Sometimes we mothers forget how powerful the energy we have with our offspring.

When I feel connected to my friends and coworkers, I feel a burst of creativity. Almost euphoric, in a sense of productivity.

What can I do to make the connection better?

In my personal relationships, I can improve this connection by reaching out. Maybe sending texts out. Not so much as asking if someone is mad at me, but rather as a greeting with an expression of love and inspiration. This is something I am good at!  Inviting others to gather for dinner to celebrate birthdays is next on my list.

As far as my work environment, there are some situations that are out of my control. Business travel, moving to new offices and illness are a few examples. But we have a pretty nice kitchen, I could eat in instead of taking my food upstairs.

Do you feel abandoned or disconnected? What can you do to reconnect?

Stay Blissful My Friends – E

 

 

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