All over social media, I am seeing the blues come out of more people than ever. Relationship troubles, grief over lost loved ones, work uncertainties, family members not getting along and putting you in the middle. To be honest, even I have been hit from all sides to the effect that I just realized Christmas is less than a week away.
So I stopped, took a deep breath…after shedding many tears, and realized that it is just okay to have a sh!tty holiday season. Hasn’t happened in years. But it’s okay. Not sure what 2016 has to offer and if will be any better. And that too is okay.
So here are a few reasons I think it is perfectly okay to Have a Sh!tty Holiday:
Life happens at any time of the year
Just because it is the holidays and there are numerous expressions of cheer does not mean that you will not have that argument with your spouse or child at home. And even though you are surrounded by merriness, you might still find yourself going to bed hurt or pissed off.
Understand this; you are a real person, living with real problems at real moments in time. So cut yourself some slack and accept your unhappy mood and circumstances for what they are.
Your feelings are valid
“There are times to listen to the people that believe in you during those days you don’t believe in yourself. Sometimes you look in the mirror and it’s fogged up; the person looking back a blurred image, but those folks that know you and love you see the real you. Sometimes you have to trust the ones that are there for you in your darkest times to find out how much light exists in you. God bless you.” ― Lee Goff
If you are sad and lonely, don’t try to cover this up. Acknowledge it, even if it is just to yourself. Because your emotions are valid! You are valid! You might ask yourself if you are benefitting from these sad emotions and I bet you will find one or two reasons that point to the answer “Yes”. Again, be F’n real with your emotions.
It is okay to have unresolved issues
That said, remember life is not a Brady Bunch episode where everything is neatly resolved and packaged at the end of the day. Some issues take days, weeks, even months to be resolved. Be at peace with where you are at this moment. You do NOT have to like it. Just know that it is what it is and wait patiently for resolution. It will come. But if it doesn’t arrive before Christmas, that is okay. You are okay. You are going to continue to be okay.
Don’t worry that everyone else seems to be “Happy”
“Any fool can be happy. It takes a man with real heart to make beauty out of the stuff that makes us weep.”
― Clive Barker, Days of Magic, Nights of War
These people are probably lying anyway. Well, maybe not. But think about how many times you have posted joyful moments on Facebook or Instagram and others might not have been feeling it? It is okay to feel happy for your friends while feeling sad for yourself. Don’t be so damn selfish. Just be real.
When Emotions are shaky, Spirit is Transforming
This is the truth of the matter. We don’t grow as much when things are all rainbows and butterflies. Transformation happens during the heart-wrenching experiences. We are being stretched to the point that we feel we can’t take anymore. Then we find out that we actually can. We find out just how strong and resilient we are.
We pass these lessons and experiences on to others while they are in the thick of it. We let them know they are not alone. They aren’t and neither are we.
Dos and Don’ts When you are having a Sh!tty Holiday
|Accept your emotions.||Try to stuff your feelings.|
|Watch funny movies.||Watch dramas or romantic movies that will only make you feel like less of a person.|
|Paint, color or do something that utilizes your creativity.||Read tragic or romantic novels. See above|
|Dress the way you WANT to feel. Wear makeup if it helps.||Avoid wearing sweats or other comfortable clothing. (unless you live in Colorado like me and it is cold as f*ck)|
|Reach out for help from a trusted friend.||Reach out to judgmental, toxic or gossipy friends. Right now is not the time to share with them.|
|See a doctor. You might actually need medical attention.||Rely 100% on anti-depressants. Utilizing all your available tools is a must.|
When all else fails, maybe it is time to find a furry family member:
If it is difficult to be blissful for you this season, please know that it is okay and you are loved. Stay real my friends- E