People can twist your words and intentions to mean something completely different if so, let God be your judge, not them. – Unknown
A lot is said about judgmental people. But how many of us let people judge us? I understand this way of thinking. Being raised in “That Family”, we were constantly put down. Other people’s judgment was just accepted. Or worse, we would caution each other not to be our true authentic selves because the neighbors might not like us.
There are movies and shows that I identified with and I couldn’t watch them because I didn’t want to look in the mirror. I wasn’t ready. (Thankfully, I can embrace my history, my heritage, and my culture today.)
This continued on well into my 30’s. I didn’t even know what I was about anymore. Then I got clean and sober. Without any particular help, every ugly, yet honest thing regurgitated from me. Thank God I got help and opened up to someone who showed me how to channel my anger and resentment. Better still, she taught me how to be true to myself.
I remember complaining that my children felt like second-class citizens around my in-laws. My dear friend said, “You might consider that you feel like a second-class citizen around your in-laws and have passed that on to your kids.” Wow! What an insight.
See, nobody was in judgment of me more than I was of myself. If I stood in someone’s judgment seat, it was because I did so willingly.
I always wanted my mom’s thick skin. This type of thick-skin does not come naturally to everyone. But we can always work on it.
Stuart Smalley was a fun character to watch on SNL. I often found myself laughing at the cliches. But those cliches actually make sense. We don’t need all people to like us. Knowing that some do is helpful. Life is more enjoyable when we start to like ourselves. When we can look in the mirror with love and acceptance, we start to feel comfortable in our own skin.
The other side of the coin is just as nice. We don’t have to judge others to feel better about ourselves. We just do! I don’t have any lingering resentments towards my ex-inlaws today. I can honor them as blood relatives to my daughter. I can trust that my daughter is confident in who she is enough to reject anyone else’s judgment. Besides, she did inherit her Grandmother’s thick skin. (I guess it skips a generation)
Don’t let people judge you by the way you do things, how you speak or how you dress, just be yourself! EXPRESS HOW YOU FEEL and not according to someone else. – Hailey Cacchione
Today, pick up that mirror and start to appreciate your authentic self. Stop judging yourself and you will stop letting others judge you as well. When you accept yourself, you will also accept the acceptance of others! What a fresh concept. Stay Blissful My Friends – E